Three weeks after a breakup and struggling with anger

[LuLu345678]

I recently ended a relationship due to being cheated on, twice with two different people. I broke up after the first time and we got back together with promises of change, entering into therapy and remorse ect.
then it happened again a couple of weeks later.
it took me a few more weeks to leave.

im now 3 weeks post break up. I’m so enraged it’s like my anger is coming out now. The people they cheated with her just hook ups and people who had previously treated her very badly. It’s such an insult. I loved her so much, more than I have ever loved anyone. I’m distraught but I know breaking up was for the best.

she dosnt really get the impact of what she has done, she could never understand why I was so hurt and angry. Why I needed extra reassurance after the cheating.

I can’t stop crying and then feeling so much rage. I’m trying to do exercise to get it out but it’s only very temporary. I don’t know what to
do. Has anyone been in this situation and able to offer advice given what worked for them ? How long does this last?

im really struggling my parents are both having big heath issues at the moment and i am an only child so having to carry that as well. Luckily I have this week off work.

thanks in advance 🙏

Anyone?

Well, you're allowed to be angry, I would be too if she's cheated twice especially after you gave her a second chance! Maybe writing her a letter getting everything off your chest would help, not to send, you can rip it up or burn it afterwards! Exercise does help, maybe a boxercise class where you can do some kicking and punching?

Ultimately, it sounds like you've had a lucky escape as fidelity is obviously not as important to her as it is to you.

It’s only been 3 weeks so I wouldn’t be concerned about feeling anger, it’s totally natural! You go through the stages of grief after a relationship ends and anger is one of them.

In time, you’ll accept it and it will feel less raw but until then it’s just getting through every day as best you can

It’s good to be angry about being treated so badly. Do you have an idea of why you forgave the cheating the first time? It might help you avoid relationships that are painful.

I’m sorry OP, this must be really hard. I’d say it’s 100 percent natural to feel this angry.
However ultimately, you value fidelity and valued this relationship, while your ex did not value fidelity or the relationship.
Take time to be angry and to cry, but then look forward. You have a future of not being cheated on to look forward to. You know deep down that this person, while sexy/fun/charming was not decent, reliable, good for you or worthy of you. Strike them from your life and move on.

Anger is natural and good if you can channel it into being productive with sorting out practical stuff.
It’s a bit like the stages of grief, not linear, you go from one to another and back again. Important thing is observe the stages, but don’t let them overwhelm you; look after yourself. It’s hard, ride it out.

You will go through Shock, Anger, Rejection, Acceptance, Help.
Shock at the betrayal, feeling numb
Anger, rage at how you’ve been treated
Rejection, of others advice, rejection of self as you try to process what happened. Denial.
Acceptance, as you start to come to terms with what happened and everyone’s role in it.
Help. As you start to seek ways to heal through self help or seeking help.

also known as the SARAH model. We all do through it when hit with shocking news that changes our lives.

good luck.

Being cheated on is traumatic. It has aspects similar to PTSD.

This has a multiplicative effect when it happens again after you have put your trust back on the line.

I would recommend posting on a more specialist forum like survivinginfidelity.com. There are many people there who have gone through what you have gone through and will help you understand how to heal.

Of course you feel angry, and you have every right to feel that way. Someone you loved treated you like shit and betrayed you not once, but twice.

Allow yourself to have these emotions, better out than in, and give yourself plenty of time to come to terms with it. 🌻🍰