Dating advice, starting again.

[Rrrrrr]

Slightly embarrassing but having been single and celibate for 10 years I need to get back out there and meet someone, but I’m very nervous about meeting someone after so long, I feel like it will be like dating for the first time all over again! It will be online, has anyone been in this situation (of being celibate for so long then meeting someone) any advice? I’ve been told not to tell me how long it’s been so thats the advice ive had so far (also I won’t be sleeping with anyone straight away either)

My advice is to know what you want and don't settle for less. Also make decisions from a place of inspiration, not desperation. Oh and without good communication skills a relationship is dead in the water. Ive spent 16 years with a man who doesn't listen, is defensive and hears everything's criticism. Its a very lonely place to be.

Good luck, but it'll be 20 years for me in November. As I dont do one night stands, its 20 years celibate too.

The best advice I can give you is to protect your energy. People come, people go, but there's a lot to take from deciding really early what's right for you. I highly suspect that for me tha answer will be that mobody is right for me.

Recently I read 'Let them" and found it helpful to look at life in much more simplistic terms.

Thanks both, haven’t really decided what I want just yet, whether thats casual or something more, I guess time will tell..

has anyone used the apps after years on their own? Any dos or don’ts?

You need to create a profile on one of the apps. Just keep it simple, looking for long term, no LDR, no ONS, list your likes, hobbies, music and food for example. A couple of photo's one facial, one full length. No holding animals or babies or drinking from a bottle, pulling tongues or doing the v signs. Just simple and sophisticated. Post and let the messages arrive. Don't be interested in likes. Read between the lines on the messages.
If yo do like someone and decide to date don't think of it as dating. It's just a meeting of two people, be natural and authentic. If the first meeting goes well then maybe a second meeting. You'll be surprised how many first meetings don't end up with a second.
Dress smart but casual, You know you better than anyone, talk about your likes and dislikes in music, movies, hobbies, etc. Don't go into politics or religion or a rant about something. You're trying to find common ground that can be shared. No point in going to the cinema if he wants to watch horror and you want to watch a rom com. Just be bright and breezy and switch your spidey senses on. Come back here for a de-brief if you need too. Make the first meeting a coffee date not dinner. You might want to get out of there within an hour.
Try to relax you'll be fine.

How old are you OP?
I'm starting afresh too.
I'm avoiding online dating for the moment and trying to meet someone in more natural circumstances.
I've got a list of non-negotiable traits that I intend to stick to.
My plan so far is to get into a routine as I think that will increase the likelihood of forming a friendship or relationship.

Thanks the advice so far. Im in my 30s. I will be doing online dating as I don’t meet much men irl and it will be easier to find a range of (hopefully) single men