Boyfriend seems to be less caring compared with before

[LemonBakewell]

I've been really ill since earlier in the week. My boyfriend took me for an emergency appointment yesterday and I was given antibiotics for a nasty chest infection, which has had me exhausted since Monday, but I was trying to get well on my own.

We had a disagreement afterwards, he was ogling women while we were out in town getting shopping in (I was wearing two face masks to protect others btw), so badly at one point that the girl's boyfriend walked over to us and I had to calm him down. He ogles other women a lot when we were out together. This person looked no more than 17 or 18 though. It was really noticeable. We were actually waiting for my prescription and they were off to the side of us and he kept turning and staring. When we left the shop, they were waiting for us. I was mortified!

This happened just before he dropped me back home, so on the way back in the car I explained to him why the man was angry at him as he didn't seem to get it. I also told him I felt disrespected. When I got out of the car he didn't hug me at all like he usually does.

Also... we've been dating for around 9 months now, at the start he would make sure, when crossing a busy road, that he took my arm or held my hand. Yesterday he was just walking ahead and oblivious to me even being there, despite me being unwell!! There were several instances where the roads were super busy and he just left me on the kerb. This is out of character for him.

Feel like dumping.

Just dump him, how can he not understand that staring at women makes them uncomfortable and it marks you out as a weirdo.

Definitely get rid. My ex used to ogle women and it was so obvious and I pointed it out a few times and he would just get mad saying how his ex used to say that and she was crazy. Definitely had a wandering eye, he ended up cheating and I ended the relationship. Wasted 4 years of my life with him, dont make the mistake I did.

bullshit he doesn’t know! If other men are approaching him to tell him off he very well knows what he is doing. He absolutely gets off on spying/peeping/ogling women and then playing the injured innocent. Its all part of his game. Dump him.

Get rid woman!

I'm sorry you aren't well OP.

But your bf perving on other women isn't really related to you being ill is it? That's just who he is. And if you stay with him he will eat away at your self esteem and self worth.
Please end your relationship with this creep.
You are far too good for him.

Feel like dumping

Follow that feeling - go right ahead and do just that. He's vile.

I stayed too long with an ogling, pervy creep. Binning him (and telling him why) was the sweetest feeling.

Even if he's George Clooney's better looking twin, has a vibrating dick and an arse studded with diamonds, rather you than me love.

You must be mortified. You deserve better.

God OP get rid, he’s awful. It won’t stop. He’ll be one of those creepy old men still looking at teenagers 🤢🤢

so badly at one point that the girl's boyfriend walked over to us and I had to calm him down. He ogles other women a lot when we were out together. This person looked no more than 17 or 18 though

Don't you mean 'girl' OP? 'Person' or 'woman' sanitises it a bit.

I think you're desperate. That isn't so much of a harsh judgement, as it is a wake-up call for you.

There's the oogling, then the fact he's doing it so much that it's noticeable to other men, and then her age!!

If you had enough options, this wouldn't even be a thread. Don't you think? You probably would have binned him by now.

He should have been dumped the very first time he ogled a woman. This might sound harsh but other women will pity you being with a creep like that.

Ogling is a mental perversion. The guy gets off at their predator noticing how he ogles. He wants them to see. It's like a sick fetish. There is a man that was actually fired for doing this in a company my agency had to do business with when complaints were made.

Choosing a lifetime partner is one of the most important decisions you'll ever make. Staying with him will be a huge mistake.

I was utterly mortified. To the poster saying I am desperate, well definitely not, just trying to figure him out. I was single for 3 years until I met him and more than happy to be single again. You know how it is when you call someone out and you get all the excuses, I'm not that naive that I haven't noticed it, but nor do I simply throw a relationship into the trash until I'm sure I'm done.

Literally just had a text from him to say he has just had a long chat with his daughter. Not even a peep out of him asking how I am after the pain I have been in etc. etc.

He's taking the p.... and yes he knew what he was doing and this also isn't the first time that he's ignored me for the best part of the day when I've called him out on something. He has had enough strikes now, he's out.

Well maybe, but then sometimes a man or woman can be so stunning that you can't stop looking over at them. In his case, however, it's almost anyone young enough wearing clingy enough clothing. Sometimes not even clingy clothing.

He has a sickness. I know it's not normal male behaviour.

And to top it all off, he has ED most of the time. Go figure.

Another interesting thing I've observed... when we were heading to the out of hours place, there was a young man out running, with his top off, lovely tan, super toned abs and strong arms, very fit and very good looking. Of course we both noticed him, he made a comment "Oh I used to look like that". I simply said, well, wow, I wish I had abs and fitness at his level. I need to get out there!!

As we left the clinic and heading back along the road where the attractive runner had been, he said "I bet that good looking runner is engrained in your memory now!". Ermmm..... huh? I said well I wish I was half as fit and toned as him, but I wasn't even giving him a single thought!

Insecurity as he is nowhere near as young, attractive or fit..... or does he assume that because he ogles all the time, that other people... I...? are.. am.. the same?

Odd behaviour as well.