Ready to date but how

[singlebell]

I was with my husband for 12 years. He passed away last year. I’m early 40’s with two primary aged children. I feel ready to date but I don’t know how and would appreciate any advice:

1. I don’t know how to meet people, I’m a teacher so I can’t date online. I’m a single parent and my small support network helps me with childcare for work. I’m wary of asking for any more help. I’m either at work or with my children. I have no social life.
2. I wouldn’t even know how to date anymore, it’s been a long time, have the rules and expectations changed?

I feel like I’m a good package, reasonably attractive, kind and caring. I obviously have two children and I can’t have anymore and wouldn’t want to at my age. Would anyone want to date me? How do I find them?

I think you need to think practically… will you get babysitters for whenever you date? Are you able to afford this?

If you have no social life… what about first channeling your energy in to friendships? Do you have friends? What about spending more time with them to build up your social life first?

You absolutely can do online dating, being a teacher does not render you incapable of creating a profile. Just be selective with who you match, coy with what details you give out before meeting and don't post photos of your children online. Pretty standard stuff.
As for how to date, just go out with the aim of having fun, interesting conversation and stepping outside your comfort zone. The rest comes naturally.

To answer a few questions..
I can get babysitters but I’m just wary of my children thinking I’m abandoning them.
I have friends, they see me at my home mostly but I probably go out once a month for a meal. All my friends are in relationships and talk/moan about their partners constantly, I find this difficult.
I’m wary of online dating due to working with older children that have catfished and stalked a colleague. They are probably not interested in me because I’m not a young hot male teacher but it has made me wary.

To what end do you want to date ? To find another long term partner, or to have some fun / sex / an adult life. These are different things ….

When mine were young, I didn’t date as I had no family nearby, and with working too, I didn’t want to be spending my free time getting babysitters for them. They are all young adults now and I did date a colleague for a while, but he was a single dad with few babysitters, so was really difficult. Currently happy single.

Maybe start up a new hobby and perhaps that will reap some more social events?

I would still try online dating OP. It sounds like your pupils would have no interest in your activities outside school. As a pp says just be careful with your profile and your choices. At least it's something you can do in your own home and might lead to something, you never know!

She can’t date in her own home!!!

Thank you for the advice. I want a partner not a friend. I really feel like I have missed out on romance when my husband was alive because he always felt awkward. I would really love a romantic relationship full of love and kindness. Yes, I do watch a lot of rom coms. I don’t have any hobbies, I’m not sporty at all. I could probably get one evening a week with a babysitter but I wouldn’t know what or where to go as I’d be on my own as my friends are coupled up and not interested.

Also what dating app should I use. Or are singles/speed dating nights better?

I know you say you want a partner rather than friends but actually…. By focussing time on friends (in your case it would seem maybe getting friends that actually want to socialise) may open your eyes to more to what you like and don’t like, enjoy, don’t enjoy and build up your confidence

If you want to date.. do it and ignore the naysayers. Appreciate you have had an awful time , but life is for living so do what YOU want. Find a way, friends, family etc to babysit. Hinge is the best then Bumble, Breeze can be ok, the rest IMO are pants!

I know some people are happy to be single, I sound more like the OP in that I really dont so would just go for it if thats what you want. The issue will be after a month or 2 and only getting to meet other person once a week (or you arrange a date with 3 guys so I have to wait 4 weeks) means you may miss out on someone.

Hi, I split 8 months ago with my husband of nearly 20 years. He was a cheat and a narcissist. I recently joined Facebook dating just as something to do and the fact is I deserve to be loved but have fun too. Oh my! There was weird and wonderful and I chatted to some, blocked a few as they were pushy for pics. However I matched with one as friends, im 47 he's 38. We've txt each other then when comfortable we moved to messanger, we've even been sexting. Today I'd said I'd ring him. Well we both broke our own records, we talked and talked and racked up 12 hours 39 minutes!!! I work in school and my pic was a cartoon. Take it at your pace you owe them nothing. If they get pushy block. You deserve fun and love. I'd certainly give it a go.x

Thank you @Vikingviolet@FloydPink I feel like you both understand where I’m coming from. I really am excited about the prospect of dating again,I put so much in to my kids, family, friends and job, I need it for myself.

Ok so you weren’t happily married. I’d have adjusted by advice if you’d put that in the Op