Should I be patient about my husband's reduced libido after meds?

[Handlepop]

Ill try to do a very quick summary:
Married for 7 years, both 30, have 2 toddlers.
We barely argue and always try to compromise and work together and are happily married.
Hes a good man and hands on with the kids.

He started noticing hair loss so started to take finesteride for it. It messed up his libido big time and we started going weeks without intimacy until he weaned off it and went back to normal.
Normal for us is I’d say 2x a week as exhausted young working parents.
He keeps trying different doses of the med and it keeps affecting his libido and maybe it’s knocked his confidence as now we’re intimate maybe 1x a week and sometimes I feel abit neglected. We’ve spoken about it but I don’t like bringing it up as it’s a touchy subject.

Should I just be patient?

It's not clear how long this has been going on for. But you're right in the trenches of having young kids and a busy life. If you were posting that he was hinting he wanted more sex, you'd be told he should be patient and understanding to you, and show affection in other ways. So that is probably fair advice for you.

Yes, obviously....."in sickness and in health".

You’re having sex once a week with young children. Objectively that’s not bad even if it’s low for you.

I do feel for men losing their hair, it seems like a hard thing to go through and there’s not much sympathy out there in the culture for them. I’d say yes, be patient and show that you love and fancy him, keep non sexual intimacy and in particular compliments going. I think it’s easy to stop complimenting your partner over time and it does bad things. My late husband was bad at compliments and I rapidly started feeling that he just wanted sex and that I wasn’t really part of the equation.

Just say bald men are fucking sexy and you cant wait for him to lose his hair.

literally nothing he can do will stop it so he just needs to accept the woman who loves him doesn’t care.

as opposed to what?

are you contemplating leaving him and the kids and looking for a new man who wants sex more than once a week?

leaving him and taking his children because he only has sex with you once a week?
shouting at him?
bullying him?
giving him ultimatums that you must get more sex or else?

what is your alternator to not bring patient?

I think a bit of empathy would be useful here. 30 is very young to be losing your hair. That really can’t be easy, so the poor bloke must be gutted about it. I’m not surprised he’s trying medication to see if it will help.

Perhaps it will help the situation if you give him load# of reassurance that you still find him attractive however little hair he has. Then. When he comes to terms with the situation & ditches the meds your sex life can get back to normal.

Well yes of course you be patient, unless you plan to leave him and break up your family’s home to go find a man who will have sex with you twice a week…. Which doesn’t sound like the way to go! Be patient with him

What are you suggesting is the alternative OP? To be unkind or force him not to take the meds?

I would hate to be a man losing his hair. If I start losing my hair I will get tons of sympathy and can wear hair extensions or even wigs and its socially acceptable.

If a man wears a wig or gets hair colour spray to make it look like he has more hair he gets the piss ripped out of him mercilessly

30 is not that young to be losing hair! 2/3 of men are losing by their mid 30s, with around 25% starting before 21. One of my brothers started losing his hair age about 15 and had less hair than most middle aged men before he reached 18, so I do understand that it can be very difficult for men to come to terms with. He will eventually. And/or the side effects of finasteride normally diminish after a few months.

Of course you be patient with him, same as you would want him to be with you, if your libido dropped. What's the alternative? Leave him? Is that going to get you more sex?

You’re being ridiculous. There are many times in a marriage where sex will be off the cards for many reasons, sometimes for months. Trauma, sickness, medications etc. You’ve been fairly lucky if you’ve got to 7 years still having it twice a week. We’re nearly 20 years in and both of us are on medications and have had various things happen which mean we can go weeks and weeks with no sex. It’s just life. You love each other and cope because that’s what marriage is.

One day you'll go through perimenopause and menopause and may find your libido disappears entirely for a couple of years. Presumably you'll want your husband to be understanding?

Your turn now to be understanding now, then, isn't it?