Saw my ex-fiancé again and feel back at square one

[Alwayschillyatnight]

I saw my ex fiance today. First time since December. He had to come.soet out some stuff with the house. I thought i was more over him than I actually was. I thought I'd be able to cope with seeing him then get on with my day.

But I feel like im right back there. I still love him. I still miss him. He still feels like home and once he left home felt so empty and I feel so alone.

The kids have been with their dad for two weeks. Ive only been to the office once due to seeing poorly,so ive basically been on my own for a fortnight now.

An empty house, in the dark and the rain, it just feels so lonely.

How do i get past this? How do i get over him. I havent been seeing him. Contact has been minimal, via email and for practical reasons only. I have a job I love,a hobby that gets me out, lots of friends - thoigh none local, when im not sick I like running and going to the gym. Im fixing up the house to sell so a lot of my time goes to DIY.

Im focusing on the future. Self care, being kind of myself and staying positive but none of those things convince you you're not in love with the man you're in love with.

So give me tips, or distract me. Please. Because im just sitting here with tears streaming down my face and I dont know what else to do.

Why did you break up? (if I can ask…)

If you feel this way, could you reconcile?

I’d hazard a guess he left for someone else? There’s not much you can do now but work through your feelings again, and never make the mistake of intentionally meeting again, there were plenty of ways you could have arranged today without seeing each other face to face

Long and very complex. The following doesn't really cover it. It happened over a couple of years.
Some elements - he struggled living with me and my kids (fair, I struggle with them and they're mine and neither of us realised how hard it would be until he was living with us)

• I had a bad mental health breakdown due to a series of horrific life events coupled with undiagnosed adhd and perimenopause (a year of HRT and my mental health is stringwr than it has been in years)
• we opened our relationship (please no judgement. Obviously in hindisght I regret it) for casual encounters, but I specifically said no emotional connections. He formed an emptional connection and I couldn't cope with it,.esp as my marriage had ended due to an emptional affair.
• he made some mistakes, broke a boundary, i was in a mess and didnt end the relationship when perhaps I should have because I loved him and knew he loved me. I thought we could work through it.
• I was angry at him, hurt, was trying to ignore those feelings, but it added layers of complication to thw relationship.
• he stopped being affectionate. Stopped touching me. I think, by the end, he didnt even like me that much. I ended it, but it was the hardest thing ive ever had to do.

I dont think he wants to. I dont know if we could move past the challenging history. I dont know if i could trust that he wouldn't make me feel rejected and deprioritised again.
That doesn't make me stop missing how things were though. Or stop me missing the man.

In that case, I would just memorialise this post in your phone notes and every time you’re crying over this man, re-read these reasons and tell yourself that you dodged a massive bullet and one day you’ll 100% see that

Then you’re already stronger than you give yourself credit for. You’re prioritising you and breaking the cycle and I’m proud of you

He doesn't sound too nice to be honest and you and your kids are so much better alone. You have this 100%. It sounds like you have a fulfilling life with hobbies and a great job. Be proud of who you are and all you've achieved and know that you don't need someone who goes to other people and has emotional affairs at the drop of a hat xxx

Thank you.
Im proud of me, too.
But im also hurting and lonely tonight.

Just keep reminding yourself that relationships shouldn't be this hard. You're better off without that kind of drama in your life.

Sometimes I think when relationships end that awful feeling of still being in love is as much about mourning the loss of what you hoped it would be as it is the actual person. And it's all too easy to idolise them and forget about all the crap things about them.

You’re lonely op, this is like going to Tesco starving. Don’t glorify and idealise the relationship or the man, it sounds like it and he were and absolute shambles. Have your cry then get your notebook out and start writing down all the reasons he’s not right for you. Then do something nice for yourself because you deserve nice things. And you deserve better than him! He’s sounds like a rat

who the hell opens up their relationship esp when theyre engaged!

absolutely mental

Michael Sealey YouTube sleep hypnosis for getting over a relationship. He's brilliant.