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Relationships

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Bit of a rant

12 replies

lauribec · 28/08/2026 22:36

Showed my DD a picture of a girl in her school and asked if it was a girl named B, she said yes so I showed my OH and told him that’s the girl who threatened to break your daughter’s knuckles (relevant as he used to be friends with this girls dad). He told me to “shut the fuck up”

I go into the lounge and sit down as he’s being horrible to me lately (he shut the car door on me twice earlier, I was stood there holding back tears - not because it hurt as it wasn’t that hard was more emotional) my girls also came into the lounge. He goes “fuck this shit” and starts shutting all the windows. Storms past the lounge and says “fuck the lot of you!” Followed by “don’t go using my card anymore, fund your own fucking life”

He works and makes good money, I have one of his bank cards that is used only for food shopping and occasionally fuel or a takeaway if he asks me to collect one. I work a couple of small jobs and do everything for the kids.

Day before yesterday we’d had a vague conversation about me losing weight and he kept insisting that diet was more important than exercise and I kept repeating to him that I want to gain some fitness back too. He snapped and said if someone else had told me I’d listen. He ends up telling me I’m childish and not to speak to him, so I haven’t been really. He will now and again make low key comments about my weight such as “you need to lose weight”, “you need to do some exercise”, “you need to stop eating as much” etc. Before he snapped at me he said “you can get back to the girl I met” as in my size, I was a size 8 FFS 🤦‍♀️ That’s not happening haha! He seems to have this idea that overweight women are just disgusting and not as worthy.

Don’t even think I’m asking anything specifically, using MN as my surrogate friend 🤦‍♀️

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 28/08/2026 22:47

Leave him. Seriously, please leave him, what else do you think anyone is going to say.

He sounds incredibly abusive, you are being verbally and physically abused and your children are living in a home with domestic violence.

LizandDerekGoals · 28/08/2026 22:50

So many issues here. Diet is more important in losing weight. But the rest of what comes out of his mouth is bullcrap.

RemindMeIn15Minutes · 28/08/2026 22:57

Not sure what you mean by he shut the car door on you but it sounds like physical abuse - as well as emotional abuse of you and the children.

He sounds like a vile pig and you should probably leave him.

lauribec · 29/08/2026 07:48

LizandDerekGoals · 28/08/2026 22:50

So many issues here. Diet is more important in losing weight. But the rest of what comes out of his mouth is bullcrap.

That’s fair enough 😊 I didn’t dispute it, just tried to get across my point that fitness is important to me too. He always likes control over things. It’s so hard 😫

OP posts:
MrsMoastyToasty · 29/08/2026 07:55

The weight you need to lose is your OH.

Energypanic · 29/08/2026 07:58

You need to leave for your kids sake. Having an angry man screaming and shouting in your home who attacks your mother is very damaging and far worse than dealing with your parents splitting up.

I still flinch every time a man raises his voice and it's been over 20 years since I ran away from home.

madaboutpurple · 29/08/2026 08:00

I remember reading posts on here saying Lots of weight will be lost once the abusive partner is chucked out. That is so true.

Anewuser · 29/08/2026 08:06

He clearly dislikes you if you can’t have a conversation without him telling you to shut the fuck up.

You know what you need to do for the sake of your children, if not yourself.

Time to call it a day, and tell him to jog on.

Yougetmoreofwhatyoufocuson · 29/08/2026 08:17

What holds you back in making the decision to leave? It’s not in the girls’
best interests that you stay, they are being groomed into accepting a male violent partner and equally you are grooming them to be accepting and submissive to men.
what help do you need? You are likely to be ground down by years of his behaviour so dig deep and say what you need here for your children’s sake. All the information you need will be shared with you by other women on this forum.

LizandDerekGoals · 29/08/2026 08:42

lauribec · 29/08/2026 07:48

That’s fair enough 😊 I didn’t dispute it, just tried to get across my point that fitness is important to me too. He always likes control over things. It’s so hard 😫

Fitness is hugely important. But the main issue is that he is a wanker.

Wish44 · 29/08/2026 09:11

His behaviour is his responsibility. He is choosing to treat you and the children in this awful way and this tells you everything you need to know about him as a person. You can’t change that.

what will you choose OP? To put up with it or to leave?

WinterBlues26 · 29/08/2026 09:25

It's time to look at your finances to see how you will manage without him and what you need to cut out such as expensive phone contracts.

Is the house a rental and is it in joint names?
Go to CAB regarding benefits and housing.
Once you've made the decision to physically leave start the CMS claim.
Contact either Women's Aid, your local DA charity or your GP for support regarding the abuse. You and the children are being emotionally and physically abused and it needs to stop.

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