This is a long one.
I Need some outside perspective as I got so confused by this.
I met someone recently who is very easy to talk to and shows genuine interest my life, asking very specific questions such as what I do when i get time to myself (a hobby or such) as we were chatting away about how you can lose yourself in parenthood sometimes. We were talking non stop for hours as our children played together. I offered to take his child, who is a friend of my child, to an activity but instead of dropping him off and go home- which was the plan,he lingered and we got to chat.
We talked about lots of things, mainly the children, school, work, but the conversation went deeper and somehow we were talking about psychology and trauma etc. The funny thing is that for me, it's easier to talk about real things as i hate small talk. I just never met someone, especially a male, who talks like this and is so open. It made me wonder if this is just his nature too and he talks like this with everyone, or that he is interested in me in particular.
It feels a bit like there is a chemistry or spark in our conversations but we are both married with children and I am pretty certain he is a good guy so would not jeopardize his marriage and neither would I. I love my family.
However, I do think I have a crush on him but it's not a sexual attraction; more like the girl crushes you can get when you hit it off with a new female friend iyswim.
As for his side, I don't know if it's the same thing but we kind of had a weird interaction at the school pick up that made me think he is also feeling the spark and therefore taking a step back; the first two days he walked over to talk to me about how the summer break had been etc and then yesterday I think we both sort of actively ignored each other- I know I hoped to not run into him because It confuses me and I was also afraid people around us would pick up on the chemistry if it is really there.
I don't say this to boast but just to paint a picture; in other people's eyes I am a beautiful woman and I get complimented about it often. I don't see it (body dysmorphia) but it has gotten me in situations sometimes where men got confused as I am friendly and open to most people and they thought it meant I was interested in them when I wasn't. This man I am talking about could well have the same 'problem', blessed with good looks but also just a really friendly person so women get taken in by this and get confused, like I am now 😆.
I know lots of MNers are extremely judgemental about crushes etc so I hope i don't get flamed for admitting having a crush on a school dad (how cliché!). I have had crushes before but they never last and i have never acted on it, and won't act on it now. I am of the opinion that a secret, one sided and short lived crush is no big deal - my husband never has crushes but I really wouldnt mind if he had them. I think it is natural and innocent as long as they don't take up too much space and are never acted on.
I am just wondering if I am misreading the signals and this is all in my head (which would actually be a lot easier) or if this is is dangerous territory and I should minimize interaction? FWIW I am avoiding playdates between our DC for now so we only ever see each other at school pick ups.