How do you cope when your partner becomes increasingly grumpy?

[lancslass17]

How do you cope when partner becomes grumpy old man.

Talking tonight a he's been nitpicky all day, I asked if it's because he is back to work tomorrow.

He hates this house and life and wants a better one .

We don't have the means for that so I suggested we try and enjoy now
Restaurants no he needs to loose weight suggested slimming clubs ignored me
The other day I suggested a comedian he said no ta

He doesn't want to work but can't afford to stop , pension not great he's just so gloomy I seem to be making things worse just speaking to him.

Be grumpy back and see how he likes it.

I try to make sure I am busy when he gets in from work to stop the inevitable two hour droning on about his boss, his staff and the commute. I cook, eat and then run back into my work room. Thankfully he goes to bed early :) I just zone out and don't engage or I nod and 'mmm', but I never ask questions to try and keep the moaning to a minimum.

I'd go out. The cinema I enjoy alone. I've even got in the car, bought myself a KFC and parked on the beach to eat it. Misery loves company. Don't let him drag you down, make your own life. You don't say your age so it's difficult to help further.

I stick my blue tooth headphones on watch Netflix on my tablet.

He's only annoyingly grumpy occasionally generally due to work stress or until recently, his elderly Mother taking up every minute of his spare time due to dementia.

When mine is on one, I either point it out or grey rock until he goes away to watch tv. He watches more terrestrial tv than I do and eventually gets into a better mood. Occasionally, I have to get cross.

The testosterone drop in older age is what causes the grumpy old man syndrome, apparently.

initially I try to talk to him about it, but I give him a bit of space because we all go through grumpy patches. However it’s not fair to infect the whole house with a constant bad mood, so if it continues for too long I tell him as much and that it’s his responsibility to sort out his emotional problems. On one occasion it got bad enough that I told him he needed to get some therapy, which he did.

Tried it all. Was grumpy back. Frustrated. Tried making him happy. Was super happy to compensate. Asked what was wrong.

it got worse and worse and worse and we finally separated. Amazing not being around such a negative drain. Shame my children still have to be so much .

I suggested mine got his testosterone levels checked. He was not amused and refused.

Mine came home yesterday telling me he had a hot flush......and he had googled that this happens in mid 50s men. I didn't suggest that he needed to get it checked, no point, he won't.

Well I left so I don’t have to cope with complete misery and constant complaints about anything and everything on a daily basis. It’s amazing how freeing it is to be positive and enjoy life.

DH was like this. Overweight and gloomy. I had to start living an almost parallel life with DC and stopped even inviting him to things, we would just go out. I also explained to other people in front of him why we did this "oh DH doesn't like coming so we do everything without him now, he prefers to doom scroll". Eventually he kind of hit a point where he decided to change. It had to come from him. He lost weight, regained energy, now participates, isn't as grumpy.

Don't pander to them. Makes it worse and drains your energy.

I take it that you can’t afford to divorce, as being single is a glorious blissful privilege if you can reach it.

Ask him if he thinks it's fair to force a black cloud on your life as well.