How to cope in the early days after ending relationship

[Cantstopeatingjaffacakes]

I broke up with my boyfriend of 2.5 years on Friday after realising he’s an alcoholic and never going to change (I had a post in addiction support about it that bought me to my senses). My head knows that it was absolutely the best thing to do but I miss him - or at least the version of him I knew before the drink took over.

How do you distract yourself in the early days? I’m not sleeping and am restless and not sure what to do with myself.

I have teen DC who fortunately didn’t meet him other than to say hello and goodbye and they are keeping me busy which helps.

I’ve asked to meet up so I can get my stuff back including my house key. Part of me wants to be a straightforward exchange of stuff with minimal talking and the other part of me wants to sit and talk it all through but I know that’s not a good idea.

Sorry for the waffling.

Give yourself time to be feel your feelings and take it easy on yourself. Don’t feel like you have to reinvent yourself or jump into a new relationship straight away.

Distraction! Keep busy, see friends, take up a new hobby or sport, start having a 20 minute walk after dinner (it's supposed to really help your digestion and lower blood sugar, helps you sleep!)

I'm using Calm app on my phone when I can't sleep - it has some great mediations for sleep and sleep stories you can listen to, they're very effective!

If you meet up with him to get your stuff back, keep it brief and don't give in to temptation to 'talk things over' - he's an alcoholic and there's nothing to be gained from going over old ground. Don't prolong the agony, get your stuff and then block him on everything. Don't allow yourself to look back, keep looking forward. Make plans, have adventures, grab life with both hands!