How can I tell my partner I do not want more overnight stays?

[MonkeyChopsUser]

I’m not really sure what I’m asking here, but I’m male and mid 50s ( not that I think that matters ), my G/F is also mid 50s and a bit overweight ( her own words), generally we get along great- same outlook in life, we like the same things think the same way etc, we have been together for about 10 months now.
we tend to stay over at each other’s homes once or twice a week which works well for me- she wants us to spend more nights together- but she snores like mad , I generally don’t sleep much when we spend the night together and I have lots of early starts so often feel knackered by the early afternoons
I don’t want to upset her by saying that I don’t more overnight stays- but frankly I don’t.

It sounds like she has at least mild sleep apnea. This actually has serious long term health ramifications and hugely increases chances of heart disease and diabetes. There’s lots of research about it. It’s much more of a threat to her health than being a bit overweight, and losing the weight won’t necessarily stop the snoring (it didn’t for me, and in fact it’s got worse).

I am now being treated for the apnea as my night blood pressure was shooting up (it’s supposed to dip) and it’s because of the stress that apnea puts on your system. The lack of air spikes your adrenaline etc.

so it might be wise to give her the health information as she could be in a fast track to a stroke or heart attack regardless of her weight.

best of luck, I hope she speaks to her doctor. She could get a continuous BP monitor like Hilo if she wants to gather some evidence before she sees GP.

I'm sure earlier in the thread, the OP commented his DP is 6-7 stone overweight, which is a lot (sorry, but it is). Which is very relevant to snoring.

I have no idea why people get so mortified if being overweight gets mentioned, I imagine being so overweight is as bad for you as smoking, and yet we shy away from mentioning it. For someone that heavy, I suspect snoring is the least of her worries.

@mumof2teentoddler, You really have no idea.
If the H takes umbrance at his wife “deserting the nuptual bed”. There is really no other solution if the snorer ignores the distress/fatigue of the partner.
It literally is 10 minute shoves, you get back to sleep then woken again.
Every single night of the year.
There is no respite.
Do you know they use sleep deprivation as a torture?
You could take a look on google to inform yourself of the facts. It is against human rights, can cause hallucinations, psychosis, problem with concentration, speech & cardiac problems.
https://www.cvt.org/resources/hidden-harm/

@mumof2teentoddler I’m glad you’ve left the thread as you were being deliberately obtuse and completely devoid of empathy.