Has anyone’s ex’s come back after dumping them and NC

[Nicole999]

Hi all has anyone ever had an ex come back after they had dumped you and you had gone no contact? If so how long was it and why do they come back if they were the ones who dumped you? Thanks

No and I’d question why you’d want them to.

Yes. Three weeks after he dumped me. He was just putting out the feelers to see if he still had control over me. Arsehole. Run and keep running away from him is my advice.

I was dumped he came back 2 years later saying he regretted dumping me and how amazing I am. His loss, told him I'm in a relationship. Which isn't a lie

They tend to come back because you’re familiar and often accept less effort than someone new will. They’ve rarely done the work on themselves to be a better partner so it doesn’t work.
It’s normal to seek the attachment again but they’re an ex for a reason. Stay strong.

He got back in touch. He just wanted sex, but dressed it up with “I miss you”, etc.

They only come back to pass the time and use you for sex. once they find another shiny penny they're off again. Magpie men. Nothing is ever good enough.

Run for the hills.

Yes and he was engaged and still trying to put feelers out to see if I was interested. Waste of skin!

No. Never.

Also, when I was the one ending the relationship, if the man was the one who stopped making contact with me.I never sought them out.

No contact isn't to be used as a game or tactic, to try and get your ex to get in contact with you. Games don't work.

No contact is to be used to help you move on.

I have. Had an ex track me down on Facebook years later. I didn't respond to the message. I was happily married and couldn't see that any good would come of it and it would be disrespectful to my wife.

Ultimately, if you are walking in the forest and keep encountering the same tree, it probably means you are lost.

Listen to "i will survive" loudly . "
You should have changed those stupid locks" etc.

He will do it again

Yes. My teenage boyfriend dumped me for another girl then came back after a month saying he'd made a terrible mistake.
I took him back, married him and had two children with him before realising it was not working.
I can't say I regret it because I love my children. But really, I should never have taken him back. Terrible idea!

They come back because it’s easy and they know you’ll take them because you have low self esteem and no boundaries.

They come back because they’re bored and their latest relationship has fallen apart because the current woman has finally seen the light and ditched them.

They come back because their pride has been hurt else where by a woman who’s realised her self worth and got rid of him so he wants to crawl back to someone he knows will throw themselves at him and make him feel like the big man he thinks he is.

There are many many reasons.

Yes, i was dumped in 2 relationships (years apart). We weren't no contact though, we had stayed in touch. One asked me to get back together 9 months later. I did and it ended again after about a year. The other one we were finished over 2 years and she asked me to try again. And then dumped me several months later out of the blue just like the first time around. So my advice is don't do it!

I didn't even date a bloke and he came snivelling back

We'd been chatting online,getting on rather well and arranging to meet when he suddenly disappeared

Didn't hear a word from him for about 7 months (by this time I'd met dp and was happy)

Got a random message on fb from him,asking to meet up as he'd enjoyed our chats (acting like he'd spoken to me the day before)

Told him to get to fuck as I wasn't playing the game

It was clear he'd met another woman (fine) she'd finished it and he was sniffing around for a shag

His reaction told me I couldn't have been more right-he honestly seemed to think it was OK to ghost me but pick me up again months later

I've had it with exs-they just want a fuck until someone 'better' comes along and they are off,leaving you feeling even worse

Block him and move on (not easy i know)

Yes. Various issues, treated me like a maid, he thought I didn’t include him in my life, but thought I was controlling for wanting to spend time with him and just our inability to communicate. He dumped me after 2 years together. 6 weeks later contacted me again. We ended having a massive chat about everything.

3 years later and we are much stronger. Live together. Equal partners, communication is great, very happy.

hope se continue

One did, years ago after about 12 months. I was with ex h at that point so I ignored his very sheepish request for sex.
ExH hasn't ever tried it. We co parent well and grew apart rather than any acrimony.
Last partner and terrible split with him cheating and going nc suddenly, blissful silence for 16 months and counting. He is with OW and appears to be a changed man. She is very welcome and I hope our nc continues.

I think if they think they can get something more some do come back. Usually its either money, sex or accommodation or all three.

Tell him that you only move forward in life, not back. Let the past stay where it belongs.

Yes he disappeared for three days then came back and convinced me to forgive him and get back together with him
and now I am a single mum as this man is a serial ‘run awayer’ so I would avoid him

Twice. Once when I was a teenager but looking back I think it was only because he couldn’t find anyone else. The second time I was in my early 20’s. It took a year for him to come back (due to circumstances - we were going long distance when he ended things but moved back just before we got back in contact) but he did. It didn’t last long because at that point my anxiety over him leaving me previously pushed him away.

One who dumped me very pointedly and painfully. Then 'took me back' very generously and I was young and besotted so I went back but things were broken and I couldn't adore him in the way I had. I was always waiting for 'the next time'.

So when it came I walked away and cut all contact. Did a bit of work and realised that he was a control freak who wanted my pathetic gratitude for being back with him as he saw it as the adoration he deserved. So when he tried to reel me back in for the second time I told him where to go. It took some doing but I did it.

Now I like to imagine how angry he must have been at realising he'd overdone it and I'd seen through him.

Yes my exh came back after a whole year. He appeared to have had a personality transplant for a few weeks but it was too late for me.

They only come back to see if they can and to use you.
Don't fall for it.

Mine did. He broke up with me out of the blue, pretty rubbish reason and went no contact, and I did too. He got in touch 4 years later (that’s right) asking if I wanted to meet up for closure and he was willing to catch up, but appreciated he had left it a long time to reach out.

I never replied because it was a week before my wedding to my now husband. So I have no idea why he came back or what he wanted and didn’t care. I suspect a relationship may have ended and he wanted a feel good validation of me still pining for him? I changed my WhatsApp photo to me and my husband and noticed he’d then blocked me.

For the first 6 months after the break up I wished he’d contact me and imagined this romantic reconciliation. But met my husband and realised what an arrogant, slightly controlling arse ex had been - which fit the way he dumped me and then tried to get back together. Dodged a bullet.

Most of the time these things fail again. All the reasons you broke up in the first place are likely still there. And you will both always know you've parted ways before, so the next time it will feel easier to leave.

Move forwards in life, not backwards.