AIBU to keep my David Lloyd membership but leave my husband’s cancelled?
My husband and I recently joined David Lloyd together. The joint membership costs £398 a month—mine is £239 and adding him costs another £159.
I genuinely enjoy going. I use the gym or pool and then the spa, and it’s an important outlet for me. I like being around other people without necessarily socialising, and I can feel quite low if I’m stuck at home too much. The club is also only about two minutes away.
My husband, however, has repeatedly said the gym is rubbish, the spa is rubbish and the only part he likes is swimming. He says he doesn’t get a proper workout when we go together because I’m in the spa and he feels he has to join me, although I’ve never asked him to. He has also admitted he originally joined because I was going and feels uncomfortable about me being in gym clothes/swimwear around other men.
He became resentful because we were splitting childcare—he would go after work and I would go when he returned—so we felt like passing ships which interfered with dinner time. I suggested that I attend David Lloyd three times a week for around two hours and he use PureGym, which he prefers and is much cheaper. He was perfectly happy with me spending the same amount of time at a women-only gym, but I tried it and found the train journey inconvenient and the gym boring with no atmosphere.
I initially cancelled our memberships during the cooling-off period. I then decided to keep mine but leave his cancelled, because he clearly dislikes the place and seemed noticeably happier once he believed it was cancelled.
When I tried explaining that I wanted to keep mine, he suddenly said he would keep his too and that we could attend separately—even though we mostly did that anyway and he still complained. He then suggested joining Third Space in Canary Wharf, which would cost £260 a month just for him and involve around an hour’s travel. When I pointed out that this made no sense, he said he would remain at David Lloyd despite not believing it was worth the money.
I’ve now cancelled his membership, and I feel embarrassed about contacting the club yet again because we’ve already changed our minds several times. I’ve told him that if he genuinely wants to remain a member, he can contact the club himself—but I think he’s reacting because I’m keeping mine rather than because he actually enjoys it.
AIBU to keep my individual membership and leave him responsible for sorting out his own gym, rather than paying an extra £159 a month for somewhere he constantly says he dislikes? Or let him think I’ve cancelled and go the the girls gym to save arguments? But then don’t want to lie either.