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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Should I go to dance classes after a recent break-up?

10 replies

Clmtxxxx · 23/08/2026 14:08

Girls, I met someone at dance (bachata/salsa) and we began a relationship. After 6 weeks he blindsided me telling me he doesn't want to break up but he feels he has no choice as he is currently in therapy for severe childhood trauma and is feeling too triggered by his feelings and the relationship in general to continue.

I usually went to dance a few times a month on the weekends, and he did too but he also did the weekday classes.

My son is with his dad for a whole week, and I want to go out dancing after work because I simply can and I enjoy it so much.

Im not sure whether to go though as he is more than likely to be there. We only broke up 2 weeks ago. We will likely have to partner up in the rotations. I dont want him thinking Im seeking his attention by going to weekday dance. I dont want him to feel I am invading his personal hobby where he goes to relax.

I am nervous myself about seeing him as Im feeling better about the breakup after crying the first week, and dont know how seeing him may affect me.

What should I do? Should I go?
I just love dancing and want to go and enjoy myself and learn.

I tried to find other places to go, but most of them are in central london and I dont want to venture that far on a weekday.

If I do go, how do I ha dle.communicating with him?
It didnt end messy, but it did end sad and with my holding him firmly accountable.

OP posts:
Onbuy · 23/08/2026 14:09

I’d love to say…. Go go go! But sounds like it could be messy and awkward

I am sure that with a little effort you can find another dance class that doesn’t involve central London

Onbuy · 23/08/2026 14:10

He goes every single week day?

Clmtxxxx · 23/08/2026 14:12

Onbuy · 23/08/2026 14:10

He goes every single week day?

Mondays, sometimes tuesday, sometimes wednesday, thursdays....

OP posts:
Onbuy · 23/08/2026 14:20

Clmtxxxx · 23/08/2026 14:12

Mondays, sometimes tuesday, sometimes wednesday, thursdays....

Go on Friday then

he sounds obsessed

Astoreilike · 23/08/2026 16:06

Clmtxxxx · 23/08/2026 14:12

Mondays, sometimes tuesday, sometimes wednesday, thursdays....

Friday?

Dobeebeedah · 23/08/2026 18:46

He is your ex ex ex. If you wanna dance dance. Ignore him just dance and have a good time with everyone else. I wanna dance, dance with everybody. Just do it all the time you want. Ignore ignore ignore the waster.

Pinkissmart · 23/08/2026 19:21

Just go. Yes, it will be awkward, but awkwardness won’t kill you, it will just be weird for awhile.
I bet in 2 months you’ll not be even a bit worried

Astoreilike · 23/08/2026 19:24

Or just go in a Friday seeing as he doesn’t go then!

OneTake · 23/08/2026 21:49

Go on Friday.

Astoreilike · 24/08/2026 06:08

OneTake · 23/08/2026 21:49

Go on Friday.

Doesn’t seem to have occurred to @Clmtxxxx

I sense that she would like to be encouraged to go on one of the days he is there in the hope of … changing his mind?

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