He suddenly switches on me

[YourLovingRoseBird]

I met my husband in late 2024, we got married 4 months after in 2025, everything was good. He and I was both over the moon for each other, couldn't get enough of each other, we were freshly in love and honeymoon phase lasted only 2 months after marriage. Things then started declining, his interest in me, his physical, emotional and intimacy declined everyday. I don't know what we are anymore, he's always annoyed, easily aggravated, impatient and angry. Before I me him I had a male friend from the U.S. that used to help me financially, I've never met the person we just used to talk on the phone and he'll send money for me, I kept speaking to him after meeting my husband, he was very respectful to me and he was never disrespectful or initiated vulgarity towards me. I kept speaking to him because I felt like I owed him my friendship for helping me, however I had it from my husband because I never wanted my husband to feel uncomfortable, before we got married he be ame suspicious and I changed my friend name on my phone to my stepfather name. After marriage my husband called the number and found out the truth, he decided for us to put that behind us and move on, the relationship was still fine until late last year he began moving distant, everytime I try to discuss it with him he says that since I lied to him about my friend he can't trust me and has not been able to go back to the way he used to be with me and in time he would heal. We've been struggling with this for a long time now. I am the only 1 trying, and pouring my all into this relationship and I feel as if I can't anymore. I'm think about separating and starting over my life on my own.

I think you should exactly separate and start your life on your own. I can't quite work out what's going on with the friend that gives you money, but it sounds to me that you have been love-bombed and got married far too quickly. I don't think you got to see the real man before you married him and now he's emerging and is rather controlling and not v nice to you.

Well this whole thing is weird!
You married a man you'd known for 4 months?
You take money from a man who you've never met?

I don't know what's going on with your 'friendship' with a man who gives you money but it sounds like you made a big mistake getting married to someone you barely know.

I don't know what's going on with your ethics, but accepting handouts from anyone is just mooching and taking advantage. Even if your marriage was bad, it was crossing relationship boundaries to keep the online guy secret, even as it wasn't supposedly romantic.

I suggest you begin treating people the way you'd like to be treated. Can't go wrong there. I don't know why you want to save the marriage when he turned into Mr. Negative months after the marriage, but if you want to see if things can improve with problems resolved, the only way to do that is to seek professional help, since you two don't have the skills. If that won't happen, yes get a divorce.

In the future, I hope you've learned not to make major decisions like moving in with someone, having a baby with them, or marriage until you've known them a solid two years.

Your decision making skills need a lot of work. I suggest when making important decisions, ask a friend who is successful in life to advise if you're making a reasonable decision. And make sure you're can provide for yourself financially. Not wise to rely on a man for your livelihood as you don't want to be homeless should the relationship not work out.

I think you got married too quickly, before you really knew eachother properly.
I think separating would be sensible

Can you move out to where you lived before, 4 months is way too quick, I'd be worried he's trying to con you.

Why are you taking money from a stranger?

My online friend helped me financially because I was a single mom, it was a decision he made on his own to help me, we were just friends nothing more to it. I understand I was wrong to continue being friends with this individual after meeting my husband. But after he found out the truth he said we'll work it out and put it behind us and move on. He treated me really well for 2 months or so after that but as of late last year he started becoming very distant and cold. I don't know how to start over at this point, especially because I was recently hospitalized for a uti and became unemployed as a result.

I highly doubt this is real but giving the benefit of the doubt…

It was a silly idea to get married so quickly. Given that you’re dishonest and hide things form
him, and he doesn’t seem to like you much, it’s probably best just to split up rather than “start over”.

Equally taking money from men that you met online is another shit idea and never ends well. What is he getting in return? Clue - it’s not your friendship.

You might want to work on your self esteem and learn to stand on your own two feet before you get into another relationship in future.

Did you post on another thread? TBH I would feel the same if I were your husband. You’ve lied and taken money from some randomer on the internet. Very odd.

Yes, op, yes to the starting over again idea. It would be one of the first sensible decisions you’ve made. What did you learn about relationships growing up op, because you’ve made some very strange decisions. A stranger should never be sending you money. And you should never marry a complete stranger either - you weren’t in love, it was something else. So, yes, finish it, take some time out, and given you have children, please don’t ever bring a bloke you don’t know in to their lives again.

Why post twice ??

I understand you.
I knew I was wrong.
The friend I'm referring to I have known before my husband.
I met him when I was a single mother and he chose to help me because I was struggling.
Yes I supposed to cut off that friendship after meeting ny husband but I didn't because I feared that I may seem ungrateful.

Yes I did post on another thread, I'm new here so I thought I were replying on the original post.
I had this friend before I met my husband, I took money from my friend who sent it as a gift.
I was a single mother struggling alone with my kids.
I lied about who the person was after I met my husband because I didn't want him to judge me or feel uncomfortable.
I kept my friend hidden (this is where the lie is) because I didn't want to seem ungrateful to my friend.
But thank you for your opinion.

Agreed. Repetition.

This guy just gave you money? For nothing. Yeah I’m not buying it. You and Nigel Bloody Farage - where do I find friends who just give me money? Mine are all like let’s meet for coffee/drinks/dinner things that cost me money. I want some friends who just hand me cash!

Can you introduce me to your friend, op? I wouldn't mind some free for the asking, no-strings money. Frankly, it sounds unlikely, and I don't blame your husband for being suspicious. I can't help but think there's a lot more you're not admitting.

Why did you marry someone after only 4 months?

This bit is even worse when you realise she has children. So she introduced a strange man in to their home.

you have made some dreadful decisions op that have impacted your children.

accept them, learn from them, don’t make such impulsive stupid decisions going forward, kick him out, block the bloke who gives you money in exchange for whatever, be single and move forward.

How did you marry after 4 months? Here in Ireland you have to give 3 months notice so would have had to do that a month after meeting? And why? You've got children and they shouldn't have even met this man yet. As for your friend in the US, taking money from him is absolutely fucked up. Get divorced, concentrate on your children and stop dating cause you're not in the right mind for it right now

How did it come about about, you asking for/him giving you money?

There’s a child involved in this shit show ?

None of you come out fresh smelling in this: you marrying a man within four months when you have children, your ‘mask has slipped’ husband nor your sugar daddy.

You make terrible decisions.