Looking for some practical thoughts and sanity checks on my situation.
Recently separated from my partner after several years. We have a toddler and I’m currently pregnant with our second.
We were already in the process of selling up to move. The plan was to rent initially in an area that makes my London commute manageable, while bringing me much closer to my aging parents for support (I'm an only child). Living in my hometown directly isn't an option for career/commute reasons, nor do I want to move back there, so the target location is a compromise: good transport links to work, and family a reasonable drive away for backup.
Now we've split, my ex wants to relocate near his own family instead, which would put him around 2 hours away from where I plan to live. He is asking for 50/50 custody, but I don't see how that is logistically possible with that distance, especially once nursery/school comes into play.
My current plan/headache points:
- The Move: Am I mad to go ahead with moving to this new town alone while pregnant with a toddler? (I will have family an hour away, but no established network in the town itself).
- Finances: I’m using the property sale to completely clear any financial ties with him so we have a clean break. Between nursery fees for two and sole living costs, my income will pretty much just cover expenses at first, but I'll have a solid cash buffer from the house sale. Plan is to rent until nursery costs drop before buying again.
- Custody & CMS: How do courts/exes realistically manage contact with a 2-hour drive between parents? CMS will likely be minimal.
- Work: Commuting into London with sole primary care - how do people manage contingency for train delays/cancellations when nursery pickup is ticking?
Would love to hear from anyone who has done a similar solo move while pregnant, or navigated long-distance custody arrangements with very young children.