Am I being perused by someone in my exes circle or is this just a friendship intensified by my current vulnerability?
I’m wondering about a situation with my ex-girlfriend’s friend/ex friend (Lucy).
For context we are all lesbians and I was with my gf a year. I am newly out so I am not used to queer friend or dating dynamics. Lucy is also known to be quite an intense person.
I’m not sure if she is trying to pursue me or I am just feeling vulnerable and latching onto this post break up and post being cheated on. Could someone give an objective perspective on the situation please?
I met Lucy quite briefly a handful of times whilst I was with my gf. When I first met her she seemed kind of shocked by me and held super intense eye contact with me. The eye contact felt super charged. I kept noticing her watching me interact with my gf and other people throughout the night.
She has got visibly upset (watery eyes) when my gf has brushed me off or had a go at me in front of her. She has also stuck up for me against my gf in front of us both. She has complimented me in front of my gf in a gushing kind of way, saying I’m adorable and that she knew I was a good person from the moment she met me. She told my gf in front of me that I was different to other girls. She was standing super close to me, like almost over me and it felt like her eyes were boring into my soul, very intense, kind of uncomfortable.
There have been a couple of awkward interactions like when I bought her a drink she got awkward and didn’t say thanks. I saw her in toilet que when I came out of the cubicle and she said people said I was in here and then made some awkward small talk. When complimented someone’s clothing she copied, when I told them to get home safe, she copied and said the same.
I get the sense that she feels better than my ex gf in general. The last few months they have drifted and my ex gf told me that this friend stuck up for me when she told her about the first break up following the cheating. Lucy told me recently they don’t speak anymore.
Just before the second and final break up I happened to be on the same event as Lucy. Neither of us knew anyone else there. We generally spent most of the time together and we chatted lots, some of the conversation was very deep considering we are acquaintances and she was no longer close with my then gf. We broke off from the group and travelled back together. We talked about her dating, our types and she told me I was high on the femme scale. We talked about wanting kids / moving away / future plans.
I then broke up with my gf due to the cheating and not being able to build trust back up.
I saw Lucy again on the scene. She asked me where my gf was and I told her we broke up. She asked me if I was okay and said it was an empowered decision which was a bit strange. We spoke on and off throughout the night but we both spoke to other women and got numbers. I caught her watching me when I was chatting with other women as well as with my friends.
I’m thinking queer friendships can be intense and I am new to this. I’m also vulnerable to latching onto kindness and attention from people given that I have just come out of a difficult relationship where I was cheated on.
I am going to take some time to myself to heal regardless but I wondered if people think she seems interested in dating me or I might just be reading into it?