I was in a coercive control marriage for over a decade. One of the worse ones, in that he was a decade older, lovebombed me and made me get married within 6 months of meeting, then abused me. Apart from that I’ve lived a normal life— nice long term university boyfriend before that and normal friends/job. I’m not an unstable person and that was an abomination. I have two children from the marriage.
Now I’m in a relationship with someone really lovely. He’s my age, has no kids, lives separately. We’re cautious and kind and have been together for two years. He asked me if I wanted him to propose (he is quite a factual person!) and I said no. My finances are set up in a delicate balance post divorce in relation to the kids, and it would be unnecessarily complex. I said we could maybe do it if we bought a house together once my kids had grown up. He agreed and we moved on. He had one long relationship before me where they were engaged but didn’t marry.
But now I’m wondering if it was the wrong choice. I’m admittedly scared of marriage and feel traumatised by my previous one. But am I missing a trick not to marry this man I have chosen and love?