‘The ones who come on strong at first are always the ones who pull away’

[MarilynMerlot]

Do you think this is true? I heard a relationship coach say it and I have to say in my experience it is true - the guys who are all intense early on with ‘infatuation’ type behaviour have all without exception been the ones to go all hot/cold and avoidant when they’re sure of my reciprocation. Some people would say love of the chase, I would call it immaturity personally.

Anyway,has that also been your experience?

Agree 100%

I think everyone is different and how you act with one potential Partner greatly differs to how you act with another.

I've experienced the all consuming intensity; that intensity has never faded and I married him. It was an instant 'we know' from our 1st date.
When that happens, it's amazing.

My friend always seems to get a hot/cold guy - they're flakey - so she just has to decide whether to end it or enjoy it for what it is.

I think love bombing isn’t always a deliberate tactic, in that a lot of men think the sun shines out the woman’s arse when they first meet her and establish a romantic relationship, placing her on a pedestal she neither asked for or wanted. They idealise her and project all their fantasies and desires onto her and when she becomes more human after a time of getting to know her better they can’t face the disappointment that she doesn’t think, act and say exactly what they expected (wanted). It’s obv a great sign of emotional immaturity and lack of empathy as they don’t see a woman as being her own person.

Better they end it themselves than behave increasingly controlling and negative, as some men do when they feel ‘let down’, and set about punishing the woman for not behaving the way they should. So pathetic. They just want sex robots.

I love the thrill of the chase and the flirting but not a love bomber. It takes me a while to figure out whether they're stable or not and want the same as I do.
There's no foundation if there's love bombing from either person. It's all delusion. I agree with PP be very wary if this is happening. Good friendship are built on stability.

It did happen a few months ago. Guy pursued me like mad for like six months, then dropped me the minute I reciprocated. Absolute heartbreak, and I honestly don’t know how to trust another one again. But this coach (and a few friends) seemed to think that love bombers always fall away because they’re not really in it for you, it’s actually about them. Ugh.