Just going to start by saying I don't want this on SM if that counts for anything.
I have another thread about dh under a different username.
My son had a party thus week. Week day. Dh arranged it all for a working day for him. I knew there would be some staying for a sleepover. What I didn't know until a hour before the party started was there was 9 staying over out of 15 for the party.
We have four kids and his mil staying for the week. So was 16 people in the house overnight. There wasn't room for more than 3 in the living room and we have a four foot square coffee table in the middle. Not breakfast enough breakfast food in to feed them either.
I was angry with dh and asked why he hadn't told me about the number of kids for the sleep over.
He has said
"I told ds and I thought that he would tell you" l pointed out to him that DS is only 10 years old he then said that he did tell me which is a common gaslighting tactic from him. I said to him you couldn't have possibly tell me because I would remember if I had nine children staying over needing to be fed. I wouldn't have half a pack of corn flakes to feed them with. I'm not that stupid. he then changed the story and said that him and DS had discussed it and it all been arranged they didn't see any point in letting me know there was no way that he was going to say to me that it was an oversight and then maybe couldn't possibly cope or cater for many children.
He hasn't asked me once how it went. Was up to 1am ( I left everything for him to put straight) but has not hoovered the living room or put it straight. Hasn't put the kitchen back as its normally set out. I did a fry up for 13 for breakfast.
His mum lives in Asia and she has come for a rare week to see him. He had 6 days of leave left when he sorted her dates. Then he booked that week off to not coincidence with her visit.
He can not see any reason why this is off or his communication is shit. It's like I have to explicitly ask him questions to things I don't know exist. Yes let's have a sleepover but sane person invites 9 kids to sleep on a living room floor 8 foot by ten with 8sq foot off that being taken up by a coffee table? Doesn't move the table that's too heavy for me alone and doesn't consider the kids might need breakfast.
Anything that I say "why didn't you tell me?" He insists he has. But you remember this sort if thing wouldn't you? If you sane with half a brain cell. I'm 1000% sure he didn't tell me. But why? To wind me up? What is his motive unless it genuinely doesn't occur to him that the 6 other people sleeping in the house might need to know 9 other people are staying? Do we? Or is it normal to not need to know? His gaslighting is making me doubt my sanity