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Original poster

Ex behaviour around kids

8 replies

Beachlover1993 · 03/08/2026 13:49

My Ex regularly drinks alcohol, everytime ive been round there recently the place is a mess being quite honest. Washing basket overflowing, place has an odour, kids rooms messy, kitchen floor felt bit sticky. When i last went round cans or bottles of lager about as ex hss got a bad relationship with alcohol, is this right ? children appear happy but has mentioned about ex drinking, but never harmed the kids. Any thoughts

OP posts:
whippersnapper55 · 03/08/2026 16:44

It would certainly be of concern to me if my children were staying there. Is he drunk around the children? How old are they? If you're not sure, could you pop over one evening when the kids are there, in the pretext of dropping off something the kids forgot? Then you could see for yourself.

Original poster
Beachlover1993 · 03/08/2026 18:36

whippersnapper55 · 03/08/2026 16:44

It would certainly be of concern to me if my children were staying there. Is he drunk around the children? How old are they? If you're not sure, could you pop over one evening when the kids are there, in the pretext of dropping off something the kids forgot? Then you could see for yourself.

They are 10 and 12 years old, i knoe my ex drinks ss did before and yes they have seem him drunk on quite a few occassions. I would say they have not come to harm. But his mother knows what he is like ss always been a problem

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OneDenimEagle · 03/08/2026 19:06

I think that you need to make it clear to him that he needs to tidy his house up and make it safe and clean for them to visit or they won’t be going there anymore. He should be setting a good example for them

Original poster
Beachlover1993 · 03/08/2026 23:14

OneDenimEagle · 03/08/2026 19:06

I think that you need to make it clear to him that he needs to tidy his house up and make it safe and clean for them to visit or they won’t be going there anymore. He should be setting a good example for them

Im not sure how he will react he always plays tge mental health card anx dont eant him turns the kids against me. Hes been a chronic drinker, turns to alcohol at slightest thing then blames anyone for it, smoke and mirrors.

OP posts:
OneDenimEagle · 04/08/2026 00:01

Beachlover1993 · 03/08/2026 23:14

Im not sure how he will react he always plays tge mental health card anx dont eant him turns the kids against me. Hes been a chronic drinker, turns to alcohol at slightest thing then blames anyone for it, smoke and mirrors.

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He can’t keep going the way he is though, it isn’t fair on everyone else and having to tip toe around him and his issues. Is that why you and he split up, because of his drinking

Original poster
Beachlover1993 · 04/08/2026 18:29

OneDenimEagle · 04/08/2026 00:01

He can’t keep going the way he is though, it isn’t fair on everyone else and having to tip toe around him and his issues. Is that why you and he split up, because of his drinking

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It contributed to the whole thing, you feel that you cant talk about the issue as it gets turned on me that ive caused it some how even though the issues eere there before we met.
Caught drink driving previously, stupidly i just thought that it was a 1 off and the drinking would pass in time it didnt.

OP posts:
OneDenimEagle · 04/08/2026 18:49

Beachlover1993 · 04/08/2026 18:29

It contributed to the whole thing, you feel that you cant talk about the issue as it gets turned on me that ive caused it some how even though the issues eere there before we met.
Caught drink driving previously, stupidly i just thought that it was a 1 off and the drinking would pass in time it didnt.

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How exhausting for you and feeling like you can’t win no matter what you do. Some people are just like that though and nothing you do will change them sadly. One good thing is that at least you are not with him anymore. Do you have a new partner now

Original poster
Beachlover1993 · 04/08/2026 20:00

OneDenimEagle · 04/08/2026 18:49

How exhausting for you and feeling like you can’t win no matter what you do. Some people are just like that though and nothing you do will change them sadly. One good thing is that at least you are not with him anymore. Do you have a new partner now

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No i find it difficult to move on, i did have deep feelings for him and yes they are still there in the backbof my mind just hoping things would change

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