Eternally single

[Dovesono]

Why is it so bloody hard to find someone (i.e. a man), even for something casual?

I've been actively looking for ages and have been "speaking" to several men, but even when they seem interested it never goes anywhere.

I've given up looking for a relationship, but even some sex occasionally before I completely lose interest would be nice.

I'm dog sitting for a young couple at the moment and they have four wedding invitations on their fridge. Yet I can't even meet someone for a fling.

I'm too fucking old for this shit.

Ha ha, I can relate, I've been dating on and off for years, I'm in my fifties and less optimistic than I was. I've met nice men in the past that have gone on to meet their wives/long term partners online. When I get chatting and how long I've been single I realise it's over five years. I think I missed the boat finding the right partner in my forties. I think had more options then.I mostly feel now that I can't be arsed, the thought of sharing my life doesn't appeal but I do miss company and occasionally miss sex.
Are you on dating apps? How old are you OP?

I've found this. For all the talk about how easy it is as a woman to get a lover, it seems to me that the apps are full of men who CBA to leave their houses and are just looking to talk dirty and exchange nudes. It's really difficult to establish enough of a connection to even meet up for a drink

I've tried dating apps, but they just seem to be a waste of time.

I'm 103.

No, also in my fifties.

I suspect a large number of men over 30 using the apps are married and just looking for a bit of sexy talk, but they either draw the line at meeting, or they aren't able to evade their wives sufficiently.

You're probably right, but how does everyone else manage to meet someone? I don't know anyone who's been single as long as me.

I've been single for over 10 years. I think I missed the boat.

I've been single for over 20, bar a few things that all lasted around three months, if that.

Ask.

I have known loads of friends, male and female who have met through apps and they are normal people.

How is your profile, is it a good mix of pics and good quality ones? Have you a detailed bio and filled everything in. Do you swipe right on many.

There will be people out there - not finding someone would point to bad profile, being too picky, going for people out of your league, having bad chat

I tried online dating and gave up. I’ve been single 14 years now. I hear you. Most of the time I really couldn’t care less but every now and then I do wonder how I ended up single.

im the wrong person to ask how to meet anyone, as I clearly can’t do it! But just go and read the relationships board and you’ll feel much better! All the MIL and extended family issues on AIBU make me feel better too 🤣

I’ve been single most of my life (I’m mid 50s). I tried everything to meet someone- dating agencies, speed dating, meet ups, going out to events alone, have worked at a dozen companies and haven’t met anyone that I’ve dated longer than a couple of years.

2015 was the last time I was in a relationship (which was awful and I just hung in there for a couple of years). I haven’t even had a date since then. I’ve basically given up.

Has anyone else had a private message from a man regarding this thread and dating?

How long ago did your friends meet anyone? Because the apps really went to shit during and after COVID.
I swipe right on men who are single, have something in their bio, don't have their middle finger up at the camera, don't have tattoos on their face and who aren't overweight. Maybe that is excessively picky, IDK.

I match with most of the men I swipe on, but mostly they don't talk or their conversation skills are appalling. I have a full bio and I can hold a conversation, but most of the men cannot.

Haha oh the middle finger at the camera does my box in. Why are so many of them doing that? Why do they think contempt and derision is attractive?

I keep thinking, I’m relatively average and even I can’t find a guy I fancy.

I'm mid 50s and gave up around the age of 50. Last relationship ended 10 years ago. It doesn't actually feel that long. Times gone quickly.

I can't find the sort of man I want. That's the reality. Anyone I'd like, could get someone better than me. That's not me putting myself down, just being a realist. It's slim pickings out there and I don't want to compete. I also don't want to "settle". My bar gets higher the longer I'm alone.

I do feel a bit sad it never worked out for me but I'm mostly happy and content.

Am talking the last 3/4 years although one would have been just after covid and another just before.

I am sure there are just as many female equivalents with filters, poor bio, tattoos everywhere etc... and while I think I tick a lot of boxes, am not some toned 6 footer with movie star looks. So while I dont get masses of swipes, I got enough to go on dates and get into some relationships.

Last time I was on I did get 2 dates that I thought I was punching well above (and it must have turned out like that as they didnt go any further)!

But be patient, there are good ones out there! Maybe men and women are being too picky about the initial look and expecting to fancy the person from the app?