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Original poster

Anyone else feel a bit lost with friendships in your late thirties?

3 replies

Saralocky28 · 02/08/2026 10:12

This might be the wrong category to add this...but does anyone else ever feel a bit lost with friendships the older you get?

For context I'm late thirties and I have a lot of pockets of friend groups, old friends since being a teenager, mum friends, old work friends but I still feel I dont have any close friends.

I dont have that 1 friend that I feel close to or could call at 1am in a crisis. The friends I do have are lovely but because they are all different friend groups I feel I miss out on the girls spa days, weekends away, meet ups with the kids etc.

I'm quite shy at first so don't find it easy making new friends so feel a bit lost. The friends I do have are all over the country and most have families and are busy so we dont meet up often or live close enough to call and say I'm having a shit week let's grab a coffee. Or the ones that do rarely would be free at short notice.

I really try to making plans but a lot are busy or diaries dont align but then I kinda always feel I'm the one asking and some of them rarely ask me.

I'm getting married in 18 months and I know a few will expect to be bridesmaids but because I feel some might not make the effort as much as I try with them I'm not sure I want them to be!

A lot going on here! It might be an age thing and me craving friendships that may have run its course but its just making me feel a bit flat!

OP posts:
Munchkinjack · 31/08/2026 23:01

Saralocky28 · 02/08/2026 10:12

This might be the wrong category to add this...but does anyone else ever feel a bit lost with friendships the older you get?

For context I'm late thirties and I have a lot of pockets of friend groups, old friends since being a teenager, mum friends, old work friends but I still feel I dont have any close friends.

I dont have that 1 friend that I feel close to or could call at 1am in a crisis. The friends I do have are lovely but because they are all different friend groups I feel I miss out on the girls spa days, weekends away, meet ups with the kids etc.

I'm quite shy at first so don't find it easy making new friends so feel a bit lost. The friends I do have are all over the country and most have families and are busy so we dont meet up often or live close enough to call and say I'm having a shit week let's grab a coffee. Or the ones that do rarely would be free at short notice.

I really try to making plans but a lot are busy or diaries dont align but then I kinda always feel I'm the one asking and some of them rarely ask me.

I'm getting married in 18 months and I know a few will expect to be bridesmaids but because I feel some might not make the effort as much as I try with them I'm not sure I want them to be!

A lot going on here! It might be an age thing and me craving friendships that may have run its course but its just making me feel a bit flat!

I've just turned 50 but I only feel 40!
I get lonely and would love a best friend I can call at 1am lol

GreatLimePeer · 01/09/2026 12:23

Saralocky28 · 02/08/2026 10:12

This might be the wrong category to add this...but does anyone else ever feel a bit lost with friendships the older you get?

For context I'm late thirties and I have a lot of pockets of friend groups, old friends since being a teenager, mum friends, old work friends but I still feel I dont have any close friends.

I dont have that 1 friend that I feel close to or could call at 1am in a crisis. The friends I do have are lovely but because they are all different friend groups I feel I miss out on the girls spa days, weekends away, meet ups with the kids etc.

I'm quite shy at first so don't find it easy making new friends so feel a bit lost. The friends I do have are all over the country and most have families and are busy so we dont meet up often or live close enough to call and say I'm having a shit week let's grab a coffee. Or the ones that do rarely would be free at short notice.

I really try to making plans but a lot are busy or diaries dont align but then I kinda always feel I'm the one asking and some of them rarely ask me.

I'm getting married in 18 months and I know a few will expect to be bridesmaids but because I feel some might not make the effort as much as I try with them I'm not sure I want them to be!

A lot going on here! It might be an age thing and me craving friendships that may have run its course but its just making me feel a bit flat!

It can be tough. There's also that judgement from other women if you are putting yourself out there!

Maybe try finding something that keeps you in touch regularly, such as sport or volunteering and see how that goes.

comeoncolleen · 01/09/2026 12:45

I find that friendships change a lot as I get older, not usually for the better. My oldest closest friend seemed to gradually stop liking me during my thirties, while others are still friendly when I see them but busier with work and family. I wouldn't phone anyone up at 1am, but I have friends I would urgently contact the next morning.
I'd suggest only having one bridesmaid, or even none if necessary; you only want someone you feel really close to and can trust to support you. Perhaps think of the women friends you invite to the wedding as lovely people you are glad to have in your life, rather than a substitute for what you really want. You may make more closer friends as the years go by.

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