Head vs heart advice

[Trufflefluff]

I’ve been in a relationship for a few years. My dp is not English he came to this country due to his job and will return to his home country in the next few years. I was happy to be in this relationship where there was not an expectation. I’d been in a long relationship previously that was not the best. My life is changing for different reasons and I now feel I need more plans for the future and something more permanent. Recently I have started to feel like a temporary convenience, I am definitely making more effort in the relationship than him. However we get on well and life is good and it’s a healthy relationship. I know I need to end things at some point but I’m having a head heart battle. Any advice welcome particularly around ending something that is generally good.

Forget your head and your heart, your gut is telling you something!!

Doesn't sound like your heart's in it either. If it's not going anywhere then rip off the band aid.

It sounds like you were happy enough to date on a casual basis, knowing his time in the country was limited, but you're no longer content with this set up.

That's fine, you've simply come to a 'fork in the road' in your relationship and are now questioning whether or not to continue down the path you're on.

You can either have a talk with him about this and see where you both see the future headed, or you can break up with him and pursue your own direction and future relationships with a surer footing and future.

Not all relationships last, and only you can know what it is you want from your future e.g marriage/kids/career etc

I was starkly reminded this week that you have one, precious, fleeting life. None of it to be repeated to have another go - this is it. So don’t waste your time with someone that is not 100% into you

It sounds like you both went into it knowing there was a time limit on the relationship as he's always planned to return home. If this is no longer working for you, then it's time to walk away.

You need to have a conversation with your OH. Will will go back to his country if you explain how you feel?
How about you being decisive and deciding what is important to you in your life. Ignore everyone else, this is your life. What do you want to happen?

It's the end of an era. Acknowledge this and you can both stay friends and agree to move on to the next stage in your lives. Start planning your new life. It will be amazing.