Would this joke after two dates give you the ick?

[Stingycow]

Inspired by the thread a few days ago about early red flags...

I've been on two dates with this bloke. Pleasant enough, we kissed on the second date and I was looking forward to seeing him again. I tend to be a bit slow to warm up/feel attraction so in early stages I'm mostly just working on "did I have a nice time and were there red flags?"

A couple of days after the second date, we were texting a little bit and he was trying for a bit of banter about the local football team I (very casually) follow, making fun of them losing a game. I said I'm too casual of a supporter for that to get a rise out of me.

His response was "Not taking the bait, huh? Ah, I'll find something that gets a reaction. The act of doing so is called fishing, and my rod..." (winky face)

I am trying to work on not binning guys off too hastily, something I have done in the past. But this gave me the ick pretty much instantly.

Would you feel the same way, or am I being too prudish?

I think he's just trying to make you laugh! 😁

If that's verbatim I'd get the ick from his inability to string a sentence together first, and worry about the cheekiness second.

It wouldn’t give me the ick but it’s a shit joke.

Separately- I wouldn’t be impressed by someone joking about something I like as ‘banter’ when we’re two dates in and they’re meant to be trying to impress me.

Hes being cheeky but I dont know why, I do find it icky!

Nah I think it’s fine!

It wouldn’t make me laugh but it’s not grim either, I wouldn’t bin him off for that.

I agree. He just tried to make a joke. You could easily respond ‘bit early for that’ or, if you are keen, ask about his tackle.

God they have to bring their ‘rod’ into everything don’t they 🙄 it would be inappropriate for me, unless we’d previously been having sexual innuendo type flirty banter. If it has come out of the blue and it’s not your usual style with him, I’d be thinking he’s testing the waters as to sex or sexting. FWIW I don’t think you should work on binning off guys too soon, your standards should be high. Your gut is probably giving you ‘icks’ for genuine reasons that you might not even be conscious of

What weirdly awkward phrasing. Bin for that!

I wonder how many men would opt for a third date with a woman making jokes about her ‘vag’ or her ‘minge’ etc.

And why are men so obsessed with their genitalia that they make jokes like this or send dick pics?

Dude, read up on how to troll. 🙄

Would have been my response.

I didn’t read it as sexual, but I interpret it as he’s going to be insufferable and try to find ways to wind you up and blame your lack of humour if you don’t find him hilarious.

However, I also bin men off for things most people would find minor. Benefit of this is that I don’t get pissed off by annoying men.

Just call it out for a crap joke. Say he's lost a point for a crap joke. Two points left. Make a fun game of it. No need to end things over what he said.

Gross. Would be a next for me. He’s not into you for more than a shag as he’s not worried about turning you off or he’s a Neanderthal. Either way the hills are for you

Have a laugh with him, say the only thing that bothers me about you going fishing with your rod is that i might catch something 😂

This early on (and such a shit joke)
Its the sign of an insufferable 'lad' who hasnt learnt how to develop a sense of humour beyond what he knows to be 'banter'
The main issue is its not even a GOOD dick joke. Its not super pun-y, its not so deliberately paint-by-numbers its ironically funny, its just... someone with a bad sense of humour without the emotional intelligence to think -'dont want to look like a laddy twat so early on'
And honestly, never known a bloke like this who isnt useless or a twat or a combo of both, even when their partner thinks they are amazing.

I wouldn’t like that at all, I think you have to know someone really well before crass sexual innuendo is ok. Maybe I’m just uptight and old fashioned, but yuk! I feel like some judgement around whether or not you are someone who likes to be treated with respect might be called for here.

If you're looking for a hookup, this is fine.

If you're looking for a longterm relationship, this is presumptuous (and utterly boring and unwitty) sex talk and I'd block him without a second thought.

Check out Burned Haystack if you're looking for a LTR. You don't need to be wasting your time and energy with people like this.

I think what he is actually fishing for is clarification on whether or not you’re up for a hook up - and fairly transparently. As someone else said, he’s very prepared to run the risk of putting you off, because he’s only interested in opt-ins, he’s trying to weed out those who want more of a courtship

That is the question.