Hi, can you please let me know as soon as possible whether you think I was in the wrong or not?
I was talking to my husband about going back to work in January, as my maternity leave is ending this month. My return has already been delayed because we couldn’t get a nursery place. It took quite a while for us to make a decision, and by then the places had gone, so I extended my leave to care for the baby until January.
When I brought it up, he said I hadn’t asked him whether I could go back to work or whether he agreed with our baby going to nursery. He said he wasn’t saying no, but that we should communicate about these decisions first. I said that was fair and asked if we could discuss it then, but he said, “Not right now, we’ll talk later,” and walked away.
I wanted to resolve it because nursery places fill up quickly, especially for January, and I was worried we’d miss out again. I did follow him several times after he walked away because I was anxious to get an answer. Looking back, I realise I should have given him space, but I felt frustrated because we’d already lost nursery places once due to delaying the decision.
He told me a number of times that he wouldn’t continue the conversation if I kept following him or raising my voice. Eventually, the situation became physical. He said he’d already walked away several times and had been patient. His dad then got involved and said I should have known to leave my husband alone instead of following him. No one is speaking to me now.
I’m genuinely trying to understand the situation. I know I shouldn’t have kept following him, and I accept that. But I’m also wondering whether it was wrong for him to respond physically. Did I cause this by not letting the conversation go, or were we both at fault?