Have you ever got back with an ex

[spookypump]

As the title goes, have you ever got back with an ex? In particular after several years apart but still in each others lives and a good relationship due to shared DC? Seeking the experiences of others before I decide if I’m mad or not to ever consider it.

thing is if you get back together and it doesn’t work again isn’t that super hard on your kids?

no. Would never get back with an ex

I haven't, but I do think you have to be very careful if you have DC as what happens if it doesn't work out again?

I think you have to really take your time to think it all through very carefully

What was the reason you broke up?

Did you post the other day? If not there’s someone on here in exactly the same quandary

I suspect a big part of the reason you have a good relationship and co-parent well now is probably because you’re no longer together: it’s easier to get along well when you’re not arguing about housework or the fair division of labour and free time or all the other things couples who aren’t on the same page argue about, and each of your parenting schedules is clearly set out.

Some couples do reconcile and sometimes it does work out, but you both need to have identified why the relationship broke down in the first place, owned and addressed your own faults and shortcomings which led to it, and be really good at communicating,

Who is driving this, and is it about genuine love, care and respect for each other, or is it more about the convenience of neither of you having met anybody else and you get on well and it would be nice for the DC?

Yes and it was a terrible mistake. Quickly reminded why we weren't compatible. We called it off which I believed was mutual but he then got creepy and weird, welfare checking me via friends, telling them I was his soulmate and we'd still end up together and that I didn't know what I really wanted, etc. I had to block him in the end.

Yes, people do get back together and make it work. Mumsnet loves to shout ''Run, block, cease all contact" at the absolute first sign of nuance, but real life isn't always that black and white.
If you already have a good, stable co-parenting relationship and years of separation have given you both the chance to reflect, mature, and actually change, it's not automatically a bad idea to consider it.

Take your time and judge it by who they are now, not who they were years ago.

Getting back with an ex can seem a good option as it’s familiar and you know them well. But that’s not really enough to sustain a relationship. Why did it end and who has done the work to make sure that didn’t happen again?
A good coparenting relationship can sometimes remind you of the good times when married but it’s a very different reality. You don’t live together or share the daily challenges that can create conflict. My ex asked many times to get back together and I always said no. I didn’t want to and didn’t love him anymore, but he wanted the easy option. I’ve no doubt that within a short time the same issues would have happened again. All the work I’d done after leaving him would have to start again.
But this time the damage to the DC’s would have been far worse.
I wouldn’t recommend it, but it’s your life.