No one has ever loved me

[Lara98]

Has anyone got any advice on how to overcome depression from never been loved by anyone ever? I’m a recently divorced single mum of 2 and an only child myself. I got divorced as my husband started hitting me during my pregnancy he despised me although he pretended to love me before marriage. My father hasn’t spoken to me in years as he doesn’t want to be a father or grandfather he’s reliving his youth. My mother hates me and my kids and has no interest in spending time with us and my only aunt that used to be like a second mum to be blocked me as her husband hates me and now so does she. I don’t have any close friends they all just call if they want to use me for favours and then disappear for months. I know how terrible this sounds but I just feel like no one will ever love me and I can’t understand why. From the outside no one would ever guess. I’m helpful and caring to everyone I meet and make friends easily yet no one seems to be genuine. Any advice on how to stop feeling this way or improve my situation would be great as I don’t want to live my whole life like this especially as a single mum. Thanks

I bet your kids love you unconditionally. Focus on loving yourself and your kids for now and forget other people.

As above, your children love you. And I’m sure your parents do deep down. And maybe those friends do to, even though they’re not always the best at showing it

I sometimes feel like this. People in my life seem to only call if they need something and I dont really get a loving feeling from my DP...

BUT I feel absolutely adored, needed and loved by my 4 year old. He is am absolute joy and the one person who lifts me up.

Focus on them and honestly tell everyone else to go fuck themselves. Life's to short to try and gain the affections of people that clearly give you 0 respect

Sending a virtual hug, OP. Depression is a bitch, but try and believe it will lift when things seem better, and they will. You are stronger than you know.💗

Thanks yes kids are the best I get so much love from my youngest, they’re what keep me going

Thank you so much

Aw OP. I don't know you but I bet you are a very lovely and lovable person 💕.

I don't have much advice except to say, learn to love yourself.

I think i can say with some certainty that you absolutely have been loved, i find it very hard to believe that your parents don’t love you and your kids definitely do, maybe your parents don’t show the signs but i don’t think it’s possible not to love your children.

What has gone so wrong and why are all these people seemingly turning on you? I don’t mean your partner he just sounds like a twat, i mean your family? Is your partner somehow responsible for that or have you defended him and they’ve distanced themselves because of it?

Without getting to the bottom of why they would turn on you if like you say you are helpful and caring it’s very hard to give advice. All i will say is don’t be too hard on yourself, you are definitely loved and loveable. Big hugs.

My husband was abusive and used to hit me. My dad left my mum as he wanted to be with younger women and my mum became bitter as he cut her off financially so she blames everyone else. I try to contact my dad but he ignores all mine and my kids messages. My aunt is with someone who is 20 years younger than her and taking all her savings when we expressed our concerns he made her block us. Crazy I know I’m very unlucky family wise

Hey, can i just say i’m so sorry it’s so messy for you, on the subject of love i can’t comment on your partner as i say he just sounds like an absolute tosser and i hope you kicked him to the kerb, although the situation with your mum, dad and aunty have resulted in a no contact situation, the circumstances you mention don’t actually suggest that they don’t love you, it just sounds like in each case someone else is pulling the strings and preventing them from interacting with you. Keep hope alive 🤗

I love you, OP ❤

Well, it doesn’t sound as if you grew up in a stable and loving environment, so it’s hardly surprising you probably didn’t learn to love and centre yourself, hence entering into unequal and unhealthy relationships, OP. Therapy would help. Self-love comes first.

OP, I really feel for you but what I would say is that love has often come into my life when I've truly loved myself. Have you thought about some therapy or even antidepressants for a while, just to get you over this period of feeling depressed. Once you are on a more even keel and start to enjoy life a bit more again you will draw people to you but you can be picky and only allow people into your life who make you feel good.🙂Wishing you the best of luck, I'm sure you will find people to love you and your children will definitely love you.

Nothing of what you said has anything to do with you. People are just doing what they do or what they know.
Do you love you?? You sound like a kind compassionate person. Just be love, if you are love then at least your kids will grow up in a loving environment and that'll be passed on to their kids. Be the one that broke the cycle. Just be love. Everything else doesn't matter.

Focus on your darling children and try to forget the rest.

Sending you strength and support. This makes me sad to read as I know how it feels to have no one on your side.

OP, none of this is your fault. It sounds like your mum has turned against everyone as she is bitter and your aunt is in an abusive, controlling relationship and being prevented from contacting you. This doesn't mean either of them do not love you although they are indeed behaving selfishly, as is your womanising father. I suspect all will be back in touch with you in time.
As others have said just concentrate on your children for now, pour your love into them and you can be sure it will be unconditionally returned. Carry on being your warm and lovely self and l'm sure more love and affection will come your way.

Thank you so much for all the kind replies everyone is so lovely 💗 I think I misused the word depression though I think it’s more sadness at the fact that I have no close family or husband to share life with. I have happy times with my children, I’m always joking and laughing, have a smile on my face, dress up, put makeup on. So not depressed in the sense that I mope around or don’t have fun with my children but a deep sadness inside me that I will never find anyone to share life with. Thanks for all responses 💗

Don't say that. Once the ringing up children phase is over then it's "me time" and you;re free to love and live how you want.