Good morning all. This might be a bit of a long one but I’ll try keep it as short as possible..
I was with my ex (daughter’s father) 2014-2019. During this time I was emotionally, physically and sexually abused throughout. Countless police visits, social services were involved a couple of times because of police involvement but closed due to me protecting my child and safeguarding her. I also have a facial scar above my eyebrow where he threw a phone at my face and split my eyebrow in half. I attended the hospital so this is on record of me attending. Eventually I got the courage to end the relationship so me and my daughter could have the life we deserved.
I filed for a residency order (full custody) for my daughter which was agreed to. Cafcass were involved and due to previous domestic abuse and his drug abuse they only allowed him supervised visits with his Mum. I took comfort from knowing he couldn’t have her in his care alone or at his address.
Fast forward to 2022 and I get a call from social services asking what sort of contact he was having with our daughter, which I explained the above. They advised me to stop all contact immediately. They went on to advise there had been a domestic related incident but they couldn’t disclose the details. I reached out to his then partner to be told he was in police custody due to the abuse she had suffered at his hands. (To be clear I had try to warn her without sounding like a crazy ex). The poor lady had been burnt with an iron, 🍇 and physically and mentally abused throughout their relationship. I felt so much guilt that I could have prevented this if I had done something but until you’re actually going through it or have been through it you won’t understand the reasons I didn’t.
It wasn’t long until the police contacted me. They asked if I was willing to speak to them, at that point I wasn’t scared anymore of the backlash or the repercussions it would cause as we were safe. I sat for 4 and half hours with two lovely police ladies and uncovered the full extent of the abuse I endured at the hands of this man. It’s weird what abuse can do, I must of compartmentalised so much of it for so long but when I got talking things were coming back to me. I was mentally drained and they could see that I was so they ended the interview and said they had definitely got more than enough. At the end of the interview I was told they would be pursuing charges on my behalf (I didn’t go there thinking this would be the outcome of the interview).
His ex wife was also contacted and it then came to light she had also suffered throughout their marriage. She also was told they were pursuing charges for her.
Fast forward, I was told they didn’t have enough time to put all 3 cases together which they initially wanted to do. They went ahead with the most recent partner and he was sentenced to 23.5 years with a minimum of 16.5. I was there at sentencing, and the judge advised he was aware of further evidence which had not been tested yet (me and his ex wife).
A couple of months after sentencing, the police officer in charge of the case came out to see me and advised me that I had contributed to the length of sentence he received. At this point I was emotionally burnt out. I decided to not pursue my charges based on the fact I had contributed to his sentence and I felt as if I had the closure I needed. I signed some documents and that was that. My victim support worked advised me to file a claim with CICA (I didn’t know I could with me dropping charges). They accepted the claim to my surprise.
Around 6 months later, I receive a phone call from said officer and he advised me that his boss was not comfortable leaving my case closed and they were going to go ahead without me. The claim with CICA was then paused due to an ongoing police investigation. I hadn’t heard anything since getting confirmation they had accepted the claim (2022). I received a letter in March 2026 telling me police cannot share all information requested because the investigation is still ongoing. Yesterday I received contact from the police officer advising me they weren’t going to asking the CPS to review the case (which I was thankful for really, I have had the closure I need).
So after me rambling on.. my question is what are your views on all of this? I’m not expecting a payout at all but CICA have had this open the whole time whilst the police investigation has been ongoing and they are aware of the circumstances why I didn’t pursue charges. What are the chances of me receiving a payout?