Naked pictures on DP’s phone

[Poppyflower1234]

DP and I have been together for 8 years and had a rough patch for the last 2 years. Neither of us initiates sex often - it’s not so much about the lack of attraction but other issues we argue about (mostly caused by him).

As far as I know, ha hasn’t cheated but a few months ago I found pictures of women (influencers) being sent to one of his friends with sexually explicit comments. It wasn’t just simple “hot chick” comments but references of what he’d do them. It really shook me tbh - it wasn’t him looking at pictures or even watching porn but the open discussions with friends and talking about women this way, whilst in a relationship. He promised to put an end to this but again found photos of naked women saved and hidden on his phone. And porn. I weirdly don’t mind the porn, I feel like most men watch it.

What really upset me that I also found him googling celebrities in bikinis and apparently discussing these images with a colleague. Am I being unreasonable for feeling disrespected?

I wouldn’t even date a man who did this sort of stuff when single, tbh.

Sorry OP but I fail to understand why you are happy for your partner to get his sexual gratification from watching women being abused, exploited and violated in the porn he watches but you are upset about him having naked pictures of women on his phone and discussing what he wants to do with them with his friends? Why is one acceptable to you and not the other?

You know he doesn't respect women. He sees them purely as sex objects for his use. You know he doesn't respect you.
Why on earth do you want to stay in a relationship with this disgusting man,

So you`re okay with him watching porn naked women having sex, but upset that he has pictures of half naked women on his phone.
Whats the point in being upset in the first place if your happy with him watching worse.

I dont get it.

A rough patch is not two years long…..

What would get me is the 17-year-old boyness of the behaviour. It’s one thing to quietly admire a picture of an attractive person, it’s another to be getting your kicks sending photos to your mate and sharing ideas about what you’d do to that person. Getting your sexual kicks this way is pathetic, in my opinion and I can’t imagine any man like this being any good in bed.

For me porn is about watching two people have sex, passing a site to watch a video and then move on. Keeping pictures of naked women on his phone is completely different.