How do I do this?

[Imnotyourwife]

I really just need to rant to someone thats not connected to me at all.

I am stuck in a marriage where he claims he loves me, but it doesnt feel like it. Not only is it a constant battle with my weight (Calling me disgusting is definitely going to motivate me, right), I am constantly reminded of how different our expectations are of each other. His sexual preference is to degrade his partner? He wants me to like being called disgusting names. Also, he wants me to like physical pain. I'll tell him I dont like something, and he'll literally say yes you do. The other day as we went to bed, he spat on my face just randomly. When I got upset, he was all I thought we were exploring our kinks. He's told me other disturbing things that I cant wrap my head around. I don't know. Sex isnt a big thing for me, but it is for him. If i decline it, he's an asshole about it. I honestly am at a loss.

You don't need to do any of it.
Why stuck in the marriage? What do you need in order to get unstuck?
Can you seek real life support like women's aid?

This is abuse. You need out of this relationship, spitting is foul and degrading.

I don't see a solution to this and I am the least likely person to recommend divorce but that's the only thing I can honestly suggest here.

Christ he's a cunt! He spat in your face?? And you didn't immediately think 'off you fuck mate'? It's time to leave. You deserve so much better.

He doesn’t love you. He is degrading you at every opportunity. I wouldn’t want sex with that fuckwit either.

I’m so sorry but you are being abused. Is there anywhere you can go where you will be safe?

This is no way to live and you deserve better. 💐

I hope this isn’t real but just in case it is……. Why do you need Mumsnet to tell you that you need to get out and start focusing on what is best for you

Why do you say you are stuck in this marriage?
He is a sadist who enjoys hurting and degrading you. Why do you feel you need to stay martried to a man like this?

He is not a sadist (or maybe he is, fuck knows), but he is most of all an abuser. A sadist will seek consent from a partner.

In BDSM practice I assume sadism requires consent and that is what you are referring to?
In my world someone who enjoys hurting another person is a sadist.

Call the police. He spat in your face. And leave, forever.

It’s not a kink, it’s abuse.

Why are you stuck? Do you have kids? What's your situation? What's keeping you there?

It's not "exploring kinks" to do things to you without your consent and prior discussion, that's just abuse.

I bet he'd be unhappy if you decided to explore your kink of punching him in the balls.

I am stuck in a marriage where he claims he loves me, but it doesnt feel like it.

He doesn't love you. You need to stop listening to the, "Of course I love you," comments and pay attention to the rest of his words and actions.

Why are you stuck?

When I got upset, he was all I thought we were exploring our kinks.

Hes laughing at you; mocking you: taking the piss. He has no respect for you.

Do you believe this man loves you?

He sounds vile. You're not stuck in the marriage, you can and should leave. He is abusive. Contact Women's Aid and get some help and support to leave safely. Get legal advice too. You don't have to put up with this.

Yeah, we have 2 kids, and we've been together for about 10 years. Theres not a single part of our lives that isnt intertwined

That doesn’t mean you have to stay with him.

He’s abusing you. Severely.

I like some kinky stuff in bed dominant kind of stuff with my partner but he’s the dom but we both enjoy it together. The stuff he’s doing to you sounds abusive and degrading and worst of all you don’t enjoy it so the fact he enjoys it and you don’t tells a lot.

I'm so sorry you have been with this deprived and cruel man. I'm sorry for what he's done to you. I applaud you standing up for yourself, beginning with this post and the thoughts that led up to it. I sincerely hope you follow up on the advice here to get away. Sending you strength.

To be hoest, this man sounds dangerous. Spat at you...? Fuck that shit. Get rid of him and don't allow you children to witness his abusive behaviour. Adults always think they can put up with it to protect their children, but that is not true because the children ALWAYS know.

His behaviour towards you is not loving, it is abusive. It's fine if he has kinks to explore- he can fuck off and explore them somewhere else. He is abusing you and then laughing at you when you are distressed- that double fun for him.
A Prince for sure! Is this what you hoped for when you met him? It will be much more difficult to stay with this man than to untangle and leave.