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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Medium distance relationships . Advice please

6 replies

tirfeats · 25/07/2026 12:57

Medium distance relationship .. your timelines please?
we’re together six months and see each other once per week due to distance, family/ work/ hobby commitments .
We’ve had theee weekends / four night holidays away and all is wonderful.
He feels strongly, as I do about not blending but our kids are late teens and early twenties anyway so not a huge issue.
We’ve met each others families and friends formally and informally but do not sleep in each others houses when our kids are there and as my youngest is anxious and nervous this works perfectly for now …
But when has this developed for you in your relationships ?
He rightly says that as my youngest who is 16 and who is very attached to me and has social difficulties could potentially be adversely affected if we move too fast.
im only new to all of this.
We’re both solo parents so the load falls on us entirely.
im trying not to be anxious about this and I know it’s sensible but atoll
feel unsettled.
He is completely committed and eager and consistent so I’ve no worries on that front. My kids are younger than his.
we’ve plans for the future or winter/ next spring but he has not told me he loves me despite showing me love consistently .
please advise , thanks

OP posts:
tirfeats · 25/07/2026 13:30

Anyone please? Maybe I’m
fretting !

OP posts:
Wishimaywishimight · 25/07/2026 13:36

Can't you just enjoy what you have for now? Fretting about 'blending' families is a bit premature after only 6 months I would think.

pillorinjection · 25/07/2026 13:42

I don't get what you're fretting about? Sounds like you are in a nice relationship.

NoCommentingFromNowOn · 25/07/2026 13:42

At six months, meeting children wouldn’t even be on my radar to be honest.

If you’re already seeing each other weekly, im not sure what else you can do. Is it formal and arranged when you see each other? You can’t pop in for a cup of tea on the way from work etc? What is the distance, or rather what is the time between you?

ScorpionLioness79 · 25/07/2026 17:26

Since you're excited this relationship is satisfying and is going well so far, it's normal to feel some anxiety if it should end or that you might not ultimately be on the same page.

There's a Chinese proverb you might consider: "That the birds of worry and care fly above your head, this you cannot change, but that they build nests in your hair, this you can prevent."

It'd be best to tell yourself that you'll be resilient no matter what happens, and that you have a lot of fulfillment in your life besides dating. All of that will still be there if things don't work out.

I'd just try to live in the here and now and have a wait-and-see attitude while the near future unfolds. If he hasn't told he loves you within the next 4 to 6 months, I'd certainly question him about that. If it were me I'd say, "We've spent a lot of time together. Learned all the important things about one another. Been intimate. So I'd like to know, do you love me?"

I know I wouldn't stick around if he started giving excuses like because of XYZ it's not in his comfort level to say it or it takes him far longer to truly know if he loves a woman. I would find that too high of risk to my heart since I feel love and he has some barrier. Best to take things as they are and not hope for change in the future.

Anyway, I hope it works out the way you wish.

AnonAnonmystery · 25/07/2026 21:20

Slow down and enjoy it. Also think long term - your dd may not leave home at 18 and be prepared that moving in together is a long term goal. This is where I am at. I see my partner eow and we spend a few nights together in the week. Live about an hours drive away.

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