Should I take this 3 week work opportunity considering everything going on at home?

[Elenari]

I'm really torn about this...... so I wanted some outside opinions

I'm in my mid 40s and I work in the art world for a gallery...... my job involves meeting clients traveling to exhibitions and auctions and helping collectors

Recently one of my long time clients asked if I could travel with him for work, it would be 1 week in Italy helping him with his art collection and then another 2 weeks in Germany assisting him during an auction where he wants to sell part of his collection

The pay is really good probably more than I would normally make in that amount of time...... and honestly it would also be amazing for networking and could help my career in the future

The thing making this difficult is my home situation My husband had a really bad accident about 7 months ago he went through multiple surgeries and for a long time things were very difficult thankfully he's recovering now but he's still on bed rest and still needs a lot of help with day to day things I'm basically his caregiver I take him to appointments help him around the house and manage pretty much everything

We have 3 kids they're 16 14 and 11, Right now I'm also the primary breadwinner my husband has passive income so we're financially comfortable. we're not desperate for the money...... but at the same time the more I can earn the better and this opportunity would bring in a really nice amount

Trip would start in the second week of August I haven't even told my husband about it yet because I honestly don't know if I should even consider saying yes. I don't know if leaving for 3 weeks is selfish or if it's just part of balancing work and life

If I did decide to go I know I'd need to arrange help at home. maybe family maybe professional caregivers maybe a combination of both. but I don't know if that's enough

How much will visits from a carer for your husband cost?

It sounds like a fantastic opportunity and one that you would regret passing on.

Talk to your husband and see what he thinks. I hope he's supportive.

I think you should approach it from the premise that you can and should go, that you can get care and support organised and it's not such a big deal. His accident was 7 months ago and 3 weeks isn't too long and both the opportunity and the kudos and the extra money and having a break from caring for him are all too good to pass up. Present it like this and see what he says.
Sounds exciting @Elenari!

Around €50 per hour..... considering his situation he needs Morning and evening each one hour time

Under the circumstances, investing in your own career sounds very important not just for you but for the financial security of the whole family. Not just the three week’s pay but the wider networking opportunities. And you also probably could really use a break after 7 months of caring for your husband. You just need to make sure that sufficient care is in place for your DH. Is he capable of “running” the home from bed, eg ordering the groceries be delivered, reminding the kids to pop the laundry on, etc? (Modern day What Katie Did…)

Absolutely go. I thought your kids were going to be younger . They are reasonably self sufficient and also able to help . It's unfair to you but I would spend time sorting out a detailed schedule of carers, meal planning , laundry duties , etc. I assume your DH disability is physical rather than mental so he should be able to maintain it .

This is an important opportunity for you . It will give you a new network and as you are the main breadwinner ATM your family should be pulling together to enhance your career.

It will also be a great lesson for your almost grown up DCs as to the importance of family support and great life lessons too.
Best of luck 💐

I say do it, especially as you said it will create good networking opportunities for further work. I think in your situation and general CoL right now, grab that opportunity and get some help for him and the kids.

Go! Your children aren't toddlers

Definitely go. Your 16 and 14 year olds are on holiday and should certainly be stepping up to help, with your DH and their sibling. You have passive income to help and the networking will be amazing. You deserve the break and the new horizons. I don’t think a man ina similar situation would be hesitating - they would be sorting out the logistics which is what you ought to be doing too. Doing this is not letting down your husband or abandoning/betraying him. It’s a finite trip, making use of your particular skills and talents. You will come back recharged and refreshed. Do it!!!

Thanks for going to my core gulity, As i said there will some event's and galas I have attend with my client.....so my husband might think I'm abandoning him in his bad situation.

So yeah there some gulit and scared about his health little bit, other than i beleive it's really an good opportunity for me, that money will help my family

Thanks for going to my core gulity, As i said there will some event's and galas I have attend with my client.....so my husband might think I'm abandoning him in his bad situation.

In the nicest possible way, this is silly. You have a job to do which happens to include some fun stuff. Good for you! You’re not abandoning your DH, you’re working to safeguard your family’s future, with care plans in place to look after his needs - and if he were to try and frame it as abandonment then he would be the problem, not you.

Do you have family members that can help out with your husband? What level of care does he need?

I think you should go too, my only worry being that you might potentially miss the start of school term which would be challenging if your husband can't do school runs for the youngest?

Your children are not tiny. Can they not do some of the caring? I have been where your husband is and Dh needed to go abroad for 2 weeks. My dc were able to help me as best they could. Otherwise, I managed. Your older ones can certainly do the cooking and washing up and putting a wash on. You bring in help for personal care as needed.