get more involved or let it rest

[tartanhaggis7]

hi there have been friends with my female pal for 20 years + recently she has been having mental health issues i have tried to help with advice & encouraging her to seek medical health services she says she can deal with it and stop interfering i dont know her family well but currently thinking if i should tell them she used to be a model so she was to the max now hair a mess put on alot of weight ditched all sports 4 of us at least once a month went to play squash was speaking to her y/day things sounded more positive then this morn vicious txt's / whats app tried to call been blocked know where she lives but am in a dilema do i go round or let it cool for a couple of days any advice greatly rec

Take the hint and leave her alone.

I’m not sure what her hair or weight has to do with this? Respect her wishes to be left alone. I wouldn’t fancy a MH intervention from someone who thought dropping squash was a dealbreaker.

i also when she was skint i gave her a loan she had set up a standing order which i hav now been informed by the bank has been canc she has a set of my keys and i know she knows some dodgy people from the last txt the spelling was crap ( drink) again i have tryed to reason with her still blocked !!!

@tartanhaggis7 i think you may have to write the loan off. Change your locks if possible.

If someone has a drink problem and is drinking the texts can be brutal.
I think you can kiss your money goodbye, at least for now.
Do yourself a favour and leave it. Block her if need be. Stop trying to save someone who is on a crash course to nowhere. You won’t be thanked for it.
It can be a bit of an ego boost to be a saviour - I am not judging. I had to let someone go in a similar position.
Spend your time elsewhere.

I would give her some space right now.

But you are right in that 'letting oneself go' can sometimes be a sign of something deeper going on, so I wouldn't overlook it as a warning sign.

Difficult. Don't take any action today, but in a few days' time when she has calmed down, I would broach the subject of how you are worried about her.

Absolutely don't contact her family! She's already asked you to back off and that would be seriously overstepping her self-made boundary. I know it's difficult as you care, but all you can really do is to let her know you're around if ever she wants help.

Without punctuation this makes no sense. At one point I thought you were saying you should tell her family she used to be a model.

from the last txt the spelling was crap ( drink)

... currently thinking if i should tell them she used to be a model so she was to the max...

Have you been drinking too OP? Maybe read back what you have written and try and make it make sense.

”I dont know her family well but currently thinking if i should tell them she used to be a model so she was to the max”

Eh? That makes no sense. And surely her family would have known she was a model so why would you need to tell them???

If it’s a key to your house, change the lock (it’s easy enough), block her and forget about her. She’s told you not to interfere, so job done. I’d forget about the money, you aren’t getting that back.

It doesn't make sense because OP hasn't included any punctuation. I think there should be a full stop after the word model (but who knows?). No idea what "she was to the max" means.

Pretty ironic that OP is insinuating that her friend is drunk due to spelling mistakes.

For full disclosure I have had to edit my own post due to a typo!

I think I’m reading it that “to the max” means she used to look her best. But now has messy hair and put on weight etc…I think that’s possibly what op means. Being a model is irrelevant really. What I don’t understand is why would this friend’s own family not know she was a model yet op does 🤔

I realise that my last post doesn't make sense either!!! The irony doesn't escape me.

The full stop goes after "if I should tell them" She is wondering if she should tell the family of her concerns. The bit about being a model is a new sentence.

I'll go and stand on the naughty step.

That's what I thought, plus her being a former model and being to the max is one of the reasons you're concerned that she's let herself go now. Is that right?

I don't agree with other posters that you should block her, even though she has said you should. Just back off for a bit, give her space but be available if she asks for help.
And absolutely don't tell her family.

Haha

Yes I can see where the full stop should go now 🤣 I don’t understand why people don’t use the most basic punctuation like full stops at least. I hope the op can see how confused people are when simple use of punctuation would have made such a difference

ure not exactly the sharpest TOOL in the box pal !!!!

That’s hilarious coming from someone who cannot string a sentence together 🤣