Othellos syndrome

[mummyof3kiddies]

Has anyone recovered after a breakup with a partner with (suspected) Othellos syndrome?
My OH was suspicious of me for many many years, I stated to think that he was seeing things. Worst trait was that no matter the proof I provided and telling him I’ve not done it he would never get satisfaction from my innocence and keep pestering me in giving into his false beliefs. Do people like this change? He is not begging me to give him one last chance. We have kids too.

There was a thread about this recently

The syndrome, or lack of it, is by the by. I've had partners accuse me of this while simultaneously having affairs, and I've had partners who have been pathologically jealous and aggressive despite me being completely faithful.

If you were acting according to the stated rules of your relationship, and he consistently doubted you regardless, despite proof to the contrary, there's not much you can do.

The chances of it just disappearing are next to none imo.

I had never heard of this until a thread the other day - was that you op?

Can he change - no. Your dc and you need to stay well away from him. Has he actually been diagnosed with this by.s professional?

I’ve posted about this before. Sorry I meant he IS begging me to get back together but it’s been nearly 20 years of going through hell with him and he has his triggers which are so difficult to deal with.

I have been faithful and a great mother throughout all these years.

it’s absolutely heartbreaking and I don’t want to break up my family as we have young kids but I can’t go trough the accusations anymore.

Don’t go back you’ll regret it. I do. I’m fairly sure my ex would be diagnosable as narcissistic. He’s caused
life threatening damage to my eldest. Their bodies keep the score as they say, protect them from this toxic atmosphere

Let’s remember how Othello ends. I would advise against going back.

Your kids and you are already a family unit. He’s broken up his family by his actions.

You do not need to go back to him for more of the same and I would assume your kids have had enough of him too. They certainly pick up on all your reactions, both spoken and unspoken, to him.

Don't go back. This absolute paranoia is hell for your children as well as for you.

Living with this will have done you harm, probably a lot of it, once you have time to realise.

Please, don't go back. As a pp said, remember what happened to Desdemona.

Please don't go back. In 3 months time it will be worse than ever. Keep moving forward.

This isn’t a ‘syndrome’. It’s called being a controlling jerk. It’s not like having a traumatic brain injury where you can recover. A controlling jerk is always going to be a controlling jerk.