Pissed off with relationship

[DisappointedwithLove]

I’m writing this to let off steam, I just need some hugs. I really hate being stuck in this thing that is toxic. He should be a nice guy but he’s not. He brings things up over & over again, never says sorry, won’t say “I love you” - claiming he shows me, is tight with money, makes me spend excessive amounts of time alone or hanging around after him. I’m left wondering what his redeeming features are.

I’ve tried to make it work but now at a stage where it’s eaten into too much of my life. I hate the thought If him with someone else, but I can create space somehow. I hate him for being mean,

just offloading. Anyone else in the same boat?

Why only offloading? Why not planning to end it?

Can't you offload him?

I just need some support and a friendly ear.

no Not in the same boat.

DP is loving, makes me feel desired, generous, thoughtful, respectful and engaging. He values me me and I value him.

rather than offloading, you need to look at your boundaries, respect and value yourself, and LTB.

it’s really not complicated.

I just need a friendly ear and a hug, no debates please.

Well that's shit and a sad situation, people want to solve other people's problems. Reading yours the oblivious answer is end your relationship.
I've been in a toxic relationship that I hung on to for too long. He ended it and I was devastated, now I look back and can't believe how I allowed myself to be treated.

It's hard to hold the hand of someone who's calling their relationship toxic and describing it as you do.

Surely you have options.

Get rid. Simple

I'm sorry but from how you've described his behaviour towards you, I don't understand why you would choose to stay. You said yourself it's toxic so don't you realise that you deserve far better than this. He sounds completely shit and I think you know he's not really worth your time or your love

You can't really tell a bunch of strangers about how badly your partner treats you and then demand nobody questions why you aren't doing anything about it.

You can't change someone into the person you want them to be... you either accept what they bring to the table or you send them on their way and make room for someone else (and try to pick better next time, being on your own is far from the worst option out there!)

Do you want a hug or a shake?
Why tolerate this sad loser?
Get therapy.

So why don't you leave? Why are you putting up with it? Not having a go at you but genuinely want to understand what keeps you there?

It's Mumsnet, Op. People will offer advice as well as support. What do your real life friends say?

No good posting on here for hugs you will get good advise to leave the bastard go find someone who treats you like a princess !!
Every time I see this shit it makes me realise why men do it cause your allowing it ! And he thinks "well she putting up with it I'll carry on treating her like shit "!
He won't change !!
Life is short and it's precious get rid of him big hugs 🤗

OP no one is going to sympathise and say 'Never mind, just learn to live with it and try to soldier on.' It's natural for people reading to encourage you to take some action and to stop putting up with his poor attitude and disrespectful treatment. You do have options and can change things If you really want to.

You don’t need a friendly ear, you need a critical one. Get yourself to a therapist who can help you unpack why you can’t bear the thought of this loser being with someone else.

You can have the hug after you’ve done that, before you ditch him which is long overdue.

It might be what you want but it's certainly not what you need.

Are you trapped financially?

We shall happily support you when you leave this madness.