Would it be petty to skip seeing his family next time

[Namesnamesnames13]

Right after my partner makes very little effort with my mum and I always see his family and speak to them for hours, tidy the house before they come over and chat for ages, I’m thinking of not seeing them the next time. Is this petty or would you do it too?

Just end it. It’s circling the drain if the two of you are behaving like this.

Can you go visit your mum while his family are there?

Regardless, it's his family, why isn't he tidying the house? Drop the ball on that.

I may not be the best juge of pettiness but I'd expect equal efforts and he isn't pulling his weight.

When you say your 'partner" what's the situation here?

That's not a long term solution, regardless.

Why does he make very little effort with your mum?

Why is it only you cleaning the house for his family to visit?

How long have you been together, and what's your housing arrangement? Any dc?

Rather than engaging in a petty tit-for-tat, why not have a conversation with him about the disparity in your efforts with each others families? Surely that would be more productive?

Well he sounds fairly awful so it’s probably a blessing your mother isn’t having to deal with him.

Why would you need to be cleaning and preparing for his mothers visit? That’s his responsibility surely?

If you enjoy his family’s company then keep seeing them. If not, don’t bother.

Petty, Not their fault. Deal with him being like that.

His family his issue. I forward my DPs mother's messages to him. He can share the mental load.

You can still see his family but put same effort in he does with yours. Sit there, in a messy house, chatting away. He can run to shop to get milk in for coffee, sit there and let him host, smile, engage and sympathise when he's stressed about it all not being done minutes before they arrive. Ask him, when did you invite them? When did he think he would have time to sort house out before they arrive? Let him tell you he thought you would do it. That's the start of a conversation he needs to hear. If course you would run around and put yourself out for his family IF he was doing the same for yours, but if it's one sided that fine , stick to doing your own family