Help me with this missed connection!

[JuliusCaesarForOLevel]

I went to the theatre in London last night with my ex and one of our kids. Ex and I were together a long time and have adult kids but split up about 5 years ago. All is amicable. I stay with him when I’m in London. I live elsewhere. Ex and I are both single now. I swore off men for a long time but I’m just starting to feel I’d like to meet someone, hopefully organically (shared interests, mutual friends, work) as OLD sounds horrendous.

Anyway, last night we were sitting in a box and there was one other person seated there, a middle-aged man on his own. During the interval, ex and son went off in search of ice cream. I stayed seated as it was hot and I hate crowds. Middle-aged man and I struck up a conversation. He was really nice – friendly, articulate, we had a few things in common, and we had a bit of a laugh about a couple of things. He was attractive. We clicked. If I’d been on my own (and I often am at the theatre) I’d have suggested a drink or swapping numbers/emails, but it felt inappropriate given that I was there with what he will have viewed as “my family”. Ex and son came back then anyway, and I also felt it would be rude to basically be hitting on a stranger in front of them.

At the end of the evening, nice middle-aged man wished me a safe journey back home and said goodbye. I said it had been lovely to meet him and then he left.

Now I’m really regretting not swapping enough info that we could find each other if we both wanted to! I don’t even know his name, though I do know his home area and he knows mine.

This is probably a bit mad but after a really tough couple of years and a long dry spell of being totally not interested in men either generally or specifically, I don’t want to blow what felt like a really promising encounter. WWYD? Is there a website where people post near misses with strangers? Would the venue pass on my contact details to the email address he used to book? (Does anyone here work in theatre admin?!) And how should I handle that? Pretend he left something behind that I want to return? That’s the best I can come up with and it feels bit pathetic!

Just for the record, no one concerned was wearing any wedding rings, not that that proves anything.

Help me Mumsnet! If it works out by some crazy means, I promise I'll post updates!

I would contact the theatre and ask them to pass on your details to him. Left object or taken number down incorrectly could work.

I'm genuinely not sure there is anything to do, other than take it as a sign that you're ready to date and it can be enjoyable? If really bold..put a message on the theatres Facebook page...I'm nit sure I could do that though!

The venue won't misuse his information so you can have a shag, and rightfully so.

Just one of those things, you should have taken the opportunity when you were talking to him.

Did he know your husband was an ex? If so, he could have asked for your details. Best thing you can do is forget about him.

its a shame you missed the chance to connect op. However I’d leave it as it is. If roles were reversed and a guy contacted theatre to get contact details and tracked me down I’d be a bit freaked out tbh

Metro has a page where near misses can try to connect.

I meant pass my details on to him. I don't expect them to breach data protection.

I think you're potentially creating issues there.

What if he's married? I wouldn't be thrilled if my husband got a phone call from the theatre, passing on details from the woman who "felt they had a connection". I've be quite firmly asking what went on that would give the impression that there was a connection!

Write in to the metro, or find a theatre/local FB group and post on there, where he has potential to see it and more importantly, the choice not to engage with it.

They could very likely be breaching data protection to use his information in a way he didnt consent to.

Thats a huge invasion of his privacy, and you dont know his personal circumstances either, anything could be happening in his personal life.

Take the bull by the horns and ask in person in future. Asking people to pry into his information to pass yours on is too far.

It was probably unclear, and I felt it would be discourteous to everyone present to say anything that would have made it crystal clear. But enough was said that he would have had a clue we weren't current partners. He may have thought we were related by some other means (e.g. siblings) - I said I was staying with family. I'm a bit worried he may have thought we were swingers! (In case he's reading: we're not!)

Metro and Facebook are good ideas, thanks to pp.

And yeah, if nothing else I need to just take it as a green light that I'm ready.

Such a shame though. I've met so few men I even want to look at twice, never mind can talk to as well.

The theatre will not pass your details on. Maybe he was just a friendly guy, you don't even know if he's single. Forget about him!

Yeah, fair point. That's why I felt I needed a cover story (e.g. left something behind). But it is a bit stalkerish, I agree.

Bollocks.

I must say I'm impressed at how bold all of you would be in the moment.

You should have commented that you were there with your EX husband so he was clearly aware you were available. As it is, he was probably just being friendly and might be horrified if you manage to track him down.

You're right. I should have. But even reading it now, with the benefit of hindsight, it makes me think of the Dick Emery character that hoicks up her bosom and says, "It's MISS!" when some poor bloke says madam.

I guess I just needed longer than 10 minutes to weave an adequate amount of personal information into normal conversation, and didn't get it on this occasion.