Can a man suddenly become physically aggressive after 10 years of knowing them?

[Onomatofear]

This is about my daughter’s father. I have found over the years that he could be abusive but I’d say he was nice to me half the time.

He has stage 4 cancer, although it’s stable but I worry if this aggression is a sign of disease progression.

He has suddenly become very aggressive where before he never laid a finger on me. On holiday, he grabbed my arm and snatched something off me. He also put his face in my face and was aggressive.

I have now distanced myself from him. Luckily we never lived together. I just wondered how common this sort of thing is.

What sort of cancer?

He has metastatic breast cancer which came back after a lot of years in his lung. He had radiotherapy but didn’t want to have hormone therapy yet (he was worried about the side effects).

Yes if the cancer has spread further ie brain mets it can affect personality and behaviour.

Stage 4 cancer? I would never condone any kind of violence, but someone with that condition is going to be struggling to contain their emotions. Also agree with what @smallgreenandsplitthreeways says.

My father had Stage 4 cancer for 15 years and was never once aggressive or violent. Of course he had a lot of emotions to deal with but he didn’t take them out on his family. Please do not make excuses for abusive behaviour.

You said he has been abusive before. This is just another type of his abusive nature.

It can happen, my dad became aggressive to my step mum after a head injury that almost killed him. But theres never an accuse for violence

Yes, anyone can. It's awful for them and their family.

Yes, cancer can directly affect the brain and behaviour, but also being seriously ill doesn't bring out the best in us. There'll be a lot of fear and anger.

Common for personality changes and or increased aggression if the cancer affects the brain. [Often it’s the first sign of a brain tumour/it reaching the brain.] I’d raise it with his clinical team/McMillan and get support to ensure he is fully tested for disease progression and alternative medication.

But even if it is the cancer - you are not obliged to remain in a relationship with him.

Sounds condoning.

Even if you have the worst diagnosis, it is NO excuse for aggression or violence against another.

And if he is aggressive because his brain has been altered by disease, OP is not obliged to keep herself in harm's way either.

Women are not punching bags, neither for men challenged by a bad diagnosis nor for sick men.