Would the relationship last long even if we’re years apart?

[LocoLatino]

Today finally built up courage to talk with someone older than I am!

What helped was probably that we both speak Spanish. I complimented her and we got along well.

She didn’t mind me talking to her and said she values a man’s confidence in the way of approaching her.

Working way up to a date and who knows what else! Lol

Anything I should know before going in deeper? How do I know we’re both right for each other? I’m male 20 and she’s 42

She's too old for you. I highly doubt she'd be interested in dating someone your age.

We’ve gotten along well. Her past relationship was rough she’s told me about her divorce story and all. I promised her that I’d try my best for her and if it didn’t work out we’d skip the drama and handle it like adults.

It won't last long term, nor should it. You don't want to be her caregiver when you're 70 and in a few years you'll likely have outgrown her or vice versa.

But nothing lasts forever so there's nothing stopping you asking.

Good luck.

Yeah you’re right…starting to have second thoughts but maybe it’s worth a shot..

Do you want children? A career? Travel?
When you're 40 she will be 62. When you're 60 she will be 82. You're just at completely different life stages. If she's genuinely interested in dating you she has some emotional dysfunction. I'm sure you're very nice but no well adjusted 42 year old woman considers dating a 20 year old.

Nah. Don’t waste your time. No normal 42yo woman wants a relationship with a 20yo. Sex maybe, life partner, no.

Thank you for helping me process some of the more serious thoughts… guess was about to go blind sighted into all of this.

So do you think she’d just want me as a distraction? Guess got hopes up for no reason

She may just be lonely and fancy you.

Man this is a real bummer. I mean it’s not like didn’t know that was a possibility, but at least hoped it was more so romance rather than lust.

At the start of any potential relationship, you go into it not knowing whether things will ultimately work out, or not. It's just a few dates at first to see how it goes, if you have chemistry and enjoy being together or not. There are no 'shoulds' here and looking ahead to when you're 60 and so on is quite frankly ridiculous.

You're both adults and the likelihood is strong that it'll only be a few dates together. But how nice if you both enjoy it! Stop looking at such long term ideas and simply take it a conversation, a meal, a drink, a coffee, or whatever, at a time! Relax and enjoy being together if that's feeling right for you both at the moment. The rest may or may not follow.

My boyfriend is 34 and I am 55 by the way so I know this situation and people's reactions and prejudices all too well. 🙂

If my 18 year old DS started going out with a 40 year old woman, I would be extremely alarmed. 40/62 none of my business. 20/42 there is some kind of coercion/using going on. If she accepts your proposition there is something off about her.

And if my 20 year old adult son did the same, I'd have concerns that he'd ultimately get hurt, but I'd recognise it was his choice and his own life to lead, and not alienate him, judge him, or think that my opinions and choices were more important than his, or automatically believe there is something evil and manipulative about the woman involved.

When I was 20 and shagging older women, a career path, kids, and the future was not on the radar. All I wanted to do was polish my apple as many times as possible.

You are allowed to enjoy yourself with an experienced older woman. Don’t expect a long term relationship, but have some fun and take responsibility for contraception and consent. Ignore the prudes

And who says romance is dead?🙄

I think OP sounds very kind and sensible actually.

Surely there are lots of nice single girls about who are a similar age to you? Your life should be fun & carefree at 20, not bogged down with a divorcee old enough to be your mum. You’re so young!

If you’re both up for a fling then go for it but I’m not sure it’ll work longer term if you’d like kids and in terms of having things in common, life experience etc.

Yeah after much thought it’s probably best to avoid. Met up with her and it was interesting