Is it normal for a male friend to withdraw during divorce?

[parker06]

My good male friend is going through a divorce from a cheating spouse and has pushed me and a couple of other mates and his family totally away. Not sure how to help tbf, he doesn't want to speak to me at all. I've had my own divorce so I know it's brutal but I latched onto friends during this time. He's gone totally opposite. Won't speak to me and makes me think my friendship is over, he goes to the gym, work, chats, has joined a new martial art with all his other mates but those close to him he's pushed away. Any men or people that know males during divorces or separations, is it normal for them to become a closed off robotic version of themselves. Will I ever get my mate back?

Why are you putting this down to his sex?

Ive known a lot of females going through divorce that were pretty open about things. I know gender might not be a factor at all but he's always tried to be the tough strong male type and I know sometimes it does play a part. But yeah, any women tha have done a similar thing any advice would be useful

Are you male or female @parker06 ?

I think you’ve just got to leave him be. Some people don’t like opening up or reminders of their past.

You could message and say hope you’re ok, give me a shout if you need anything.

Just keep it light and don’t chase him or put him under any pressure.

Hopefully when he’s sorted out his head he’ll be back.

When I was going through an awful break up I didn’t want to spend any of my time with happily marrieds. I just couldn’t bear it- the “we”
talk, the turning up to social events as a pair, the talk about holidays - I basically disappeared off the face of the earth to them for about 9 months.

Thanks everyone, yeah he's been my basically brother for twenty years so it's just hard to step away but if that's what he need sthen I get it