What can my solicitor ask of my ex-partner regarding support?

[Bublicious]

So, my solicitor's will be sending a letter to my ex-partner this week. We have two kids both in post-primary full-time education, old enough to not need a custody agreement. Kids live with me 8 days a week. He is being financially and emotionally abusive.

What can my solicitor ask of them?

Have you applied for maintenance via the useless CMS yet?
what is his earning situation is he self employed?

You are paying your solicitor so they can ask for anything you want, but that doesn’t make it enforceable. Legally, you are entitled to child maintenance and that’s it. People can’t be forced to parent properly unfortunately.

What’s post primary education? Do you mean secondary? And how do you get 8 days in a week?

A solicitors letter is not a legally binding contract.
You need CMS for maintenance.
They are useless though.

Are you in England/UK or elsewhere

You can include child maintenance in the consent order without going through CMS. The usual baseline for two children is 20% of his net pay. If he is a very high earner you might consider asking for more but as he’s being difficult there’s probably no point.

8 days a week is a lot!

Do the children want to spend time with their father?
the basic request would be child maintenance payments until 18 or leave full time Ed.

Yes I have. Not expecting a lot, but given he's self-employed and I did his admin I know where all the info is.

I'm so sorry you are going through it, it's very stressful. When you say 8 days a week, is that a wee typo or do you mean 8 days every 2 weeks. Just so we can offer better advice.

You say ex-partner, can I confirm that means you weren't married? Do you have any joint assets like house you were both named on etc?

In terms of what the solicitor can ask for, they can ask for anything. I remember reading here once a woman got a letter from her exes solicitor demanding she keep curtains open so he can peep in, doesn't mean it's happening.

With no marriage it will likely just be CMS.

Yes post-primary is secondary and I have clearly hit 8 instead of 7 when typing on my phone.

I just want there to be enough to scare him, as he won't be happy that I am going via the legal route.

8 days is a typo as on phone. We are legally married, I just don't want to call him my husband anymore.

He will be terrified once he receives the letter and if he thinks the CMS will contact all those he does work for as he has his own business.

Why would anyone in their right mind put something like that in a solicitors letter?! That's crazy.

I know they are as I did work for them relating to customer satisfaction. I also know that a solicitors letter is not legally binding, but I am hoping it is enough to scare him into the right thing. This whole situation and his behaviour is very out of character.

is he Paul McCartney?

Scare his to do what?

it’s simple. Apply for CMS. That’s all you can do

You may not want to call him your husband anymore, but until you are divorced, he still is.

It will also affect the advice you get on here, because seeing 'partner' everyone will assume you are not married.

Why haven't you applied to CMS?

To behave like the person I knew. I am so sad and tired if the animosity. I don't want it at all.

I have, just waiting for him to receive his letter and provide his details. Our eldest is at uni so he won't be applicable and our youngest is at school for another year.

All I want is for him to behave like the man I thought I knew but I don't think that's going to happen and it makes me so sad.

Yes, just waiting on him to do his part. Not sure if he's received the letter, given the way Royal Mail are. I just don't want the hostility and wish he would give himself a shake.

Yes, I have. Just a waiting game now.

If you are legally married then take the advice from your solicitor about division of assets. It's impossible to answer your question with no information about your income and assets but the starting point is 50-50. If you have majority care of the DC it should increase. The children need to be adequately housed within the limits of the assets available.

And you do need to make it clear that you are legally married to get appropriate advice. Married and de facto couples are treated differently.

Yes, we are legally married. We have no assets to divide, living in rented property and no savings to speak off. Our kids live with me full-time. He has nowhere to keep them as sleeping on a mates couch (supposedly), but they're old enough that no custody agreement is needed, but still financially dependent and both in full-time education.