Partner says he feels numb and only happy with his children

[justbatteringon]

If your partner that you don’t live with, have been with for nearly 3 years with a break up thrown in (been back together 7 months) has told you he doesn’t feel any emotions and the only time he feels joy is with his kids. what would you do?
Has anyone been able to come back from this?
Before this we were happy
I will add because I don’t want to drip feed but I also want to protect his privacy, he’s had a very tough year there’s lots of things going on and lots of close family members that need his support and some grief thrown in.

He’s not really spoken to me for 3 days unless I’ve asked him something.

I’ve been giving him space, I know no one can really tell me what to do but I’m feeling a little lost atm

What would I do?

Step away …

This, 100%.

It’s usually that they have their eye on someone else
why would he make life distant with you when he’s had a hard time and grief, should be turning to you more
but hopefully he’s just a bit messed up at the moment

He could be depressed. Has he been to see his GP at all?

I’ll tell you what to do, you scrape your self esteem off the floor and break up with him. Please don’t waste your life like this 💐

he feels joy with his kids and the new woman he has recently met
(we were on a. break!)

stop making excuses for his lack of interest and don’t waste any more
time on this man
sorry OP

I did wonder about another woman, he’s swore this isn’t the case and I know other women will call me a fool for believing him, I might well be

He’s “reclusing” for a few days and if he’s not better on Monday he’s going to try and get some help

I know I should walk away, that will probably be the end result we’re just sort of in this limbo

If he has said that if he's not better by Monday then it seems he knows it is something going on with him that he needs help with, so not about you. If he does go to his GP and / or get counselling I would see how that works out.

Somewhere down the line I would want him to tell me at least brief details of what was causing the problem. If there was a physical health issue then I think it would be fair to tell you what that was. If it was mental health (I that feel can be more private), then I wouldn't expect detail but I would want to know how it was going to affect the relationship going forward as I would know what to expect and decide what I wanted to be living with.

I hope he gets the help he needs and things work out for you both.

He sounds depressed, so if he is willing to try and get help then a decent partner would support him. He should at least be given a chance to try.

There seems to be a lot of selfish people on this thread, all thinking that any partner who doesn’t revolve their lives around making them happy deserves to be abandoned at the first sign of difficulty.

The word "numb" .makes me think he could be depressed. Especially if he has a lot of overwhelming stuff going on. I would encourage him to see his GP initially.

I would definitely encourage him to speak to his GP. Grief is a terrible thing and it does strip the joy out of life and make you feel detached and numb. It sounds to me like he needs help and support to get through a rough patch in his life.

Sounds like some anti depressants could help here OP. Lack of joy sounds like depression to me. I would strongly advise him to see the GP asap and monitor it for afew weeks thereafter to see if there is any improvement.

Yes, he could be depressed, but you can’t fix him. If he doesn’t seek help, and is basically saying he doesn’t care for you, then you need to just step away

Yeah I don’t know, I believed the depression until he’s started up.

just kept saying “I’m grand” and when I said are we grand though and he said “that I don’t know”

Take him at his word. He doesn't know. But perhaps you should be asking not if he thinks you both are grand, but if you do. Focus on whether this is the right relationship for you - what does he bring to your life etc, rather than waiting on him. Make a decision from there.

It sounds like his kids are from previous relationship? If he is saying I donr know to your relationship why don't you step aside and let him know it sounds like he eneeds a break from relationship to work out what's going on.
I didnt do this and regret it massively... if someone is not sure, thye really are not the one you need to be with, partiucallry this early on. Maybe he's grieving the previous relationship, maybe he's juts stuck, but he isn't fighting for you both and sometimes that's what you need to act on
As others said, focus on you not him.