Divorce after escalating violent incidents

[Piratemam]

Tbh I'm looking for validation here really
..

DH and I are currently separated and about to start the divorce process. He's not taking it well and I feel very guilty. I also feel guilty for DS

I was miserable anyway but what prompted my decision to finally split was an incident where he shouted at DS and then punched the bedroom door in front of DS. Didn't cause any damage to the door but it was scary. Not the first incident either. Previous scary incidents including driving scary on purpose while we were arguing and other punching incidents although never laid a hand on me /DS as far as I'm aware.

DH wants another chance but I've given him lots of chances... I am sure this would happen again.

I'm gonna be broke and lonely and DH and DS are both angry at me. I still think it's the right thing to do though.

It is. Good luck.

Can you try a trial separation? Presumable DS doesn't have much of a problem with DH is he's angry with you over wanting a divorce. Or is it about being worse off?

The best thing you can do for your son is show him that a spouse should leave an abusive marriage.

Your husband's abusive behaviour like punching objects and dangerous driving is being normalized for him as things men do in relationships and marriages. Adverse childhood experiences like witnessing abuse also rewire his brain.

You are doing absolutely the right thing. Good luck and be brave. You and your DC deserve better

This.

DS is angry with you because you are changing his "normal". He doesn't realise that his normal life is actually really bad and unacceptable and that most people would be horrified by it if they knew.

One day he will appreciate what you are trying to do, which is protecting him and giving him a life that the majority of people live, one without violence or anger. But for now he won't understand. Ride through it

You're doing the right thing.

You're doing the right thing for your son as well - you can't bring him up thinking violence is normal.

It is OP. The examples you give are enough.