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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Issues with difficult soon to be ex husband and child issues

1 reply

fhuaixnd · 16/07/2026 16:38

I need some help with my ex husband..
We split up in july 2025. Hes lazy. He didn't work or contribute to the general upkeep to the property.
We own a jointly owned property but as we both have an IVA it is unable to be sold. We share a almost 6 year old.

He lives with his parents. They are both heavy drinkers. They haven't seen our child since january 2025. They chose not to see her because they had an issue with me. I dont want her going there. They've threatened the social on me before and have said I wouldn't get our child back if she was to go there.

My ex is now saying he wants more time with our daughter which is fine. However he works shifts at a local shop and these are very random. He never asks to see her and I have to initiate contact. He doesnt want to do any pick ups or drop offs from school and hasnt taken her to school since july 2025. After speaking today he says he hates that he has to come down to see her but has never offered any other suggestions. He never messages randomly and says oh im off work can I see her?

He regularly threatens suicide when he doesnt get his own way. He says things like he's just going to go wondering until he dies. He took an overdose 4 weeks ago and claims this is all my fault.

He now says we have to go to mediation and I have to pay for it. I dont have the funds.

I need to know what happens now.

OP posts:
Mooselooseinmyhoose · 16/07/2026 16:42

What happens is you smile and nod and say ok I await hearing from the mediator. If he is this flakey he wont instruct. There are vouchers towards mediation where one party is on a low income or receives certain benefits. If you aren't eligible and cant afford it then tell them that.

If he wants more contact he needs to issue a court application. I highly doubt he will.

Plus if hes attempting suicide you can legitimately say you aren't sure it is safe for your child.

Dont let him guilt you. You are not responsible for his actions. You sound so much better off without him!

Also document all texts or emails so you have a paper trail of his threats and flakiness.

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