Would you forgive a husband who cheated during pregnancy?

[ByGraceThroughFaith]

Would you forgive a husband who cheats on you when pregnant? I know i cant forgive nor forget. How do i leave? What is life like after? Am i terrible for staying so i can use him financially until my baby is old enough to look after on my own?

No, I couldn't. I'm sorry you're going through this
You don't have to leave, you can stay until you feel strong enough to go, but I'm not sure I'd want to go through childbirth and the early months with someone who'd broken my heart.

No judgement whatever you decide.

What are your options?

Only if you get external help to work through the cheating (both of you have to want to) and then you need to work really hard (probably with outside help) to learn better skills in how to relate to each other.

I'm so sorry @ByGraceThroughFaith .

Do whatever is best for you, and for your baby.

💐💐

No I couldn’t, part of me says to cheat is the end for me, but to cheat while you’re carrying his child is the ultimate for me - but wouldn’t hold it against anyone who stayed.

you need to decide if you could ever trust him again, and how much your relationship is damaged.

if you decide to leave, do you have family to help you ? Is the house yours/his/joint. Financially I would say you will manage, it might not be easy but I know people who have managed it.

No. Peace of mind is worth everything. I couldn’t live with constantly wondering if he was doing it again after he had done it the most vulnerable time in my life.

What age of your baby are you considering staying until?

Life as a single mum is far easier than being in a relationship with a man who has no respect for you.

What is your financial situation? How old is your baby now?

No. But staying with him for financial security until you are at a place where you can provide for your baby is NOT the same as forgiving.

Do whatever you need to do.

no

Do what is right for you. But do take into account that once baby comes, he can stop you moving away. So if your family and friends live some distance away, and you would like their support you might be better off ending it now.

This is a very good point. Whilst he can’t stop you moving away, if you are the one that moves away from the baby’s birthplace, you will be responsible for driving the baby to visit him for visitations.

Stay until you are strong enough to make the right decision for you. I’ve been there OP X

No, and I’d be making plans to leave as soon as possible. Cheat on you once, what’s to stop him doing it again, the man has no morals or standards.

I’m so sorry you find yourself with someone who is untrustworthy. This is a lot to forgive, forgive - maybe, forget - very unlikely. You deserve better.

I love this, staying until you are strong enough to leave. This is what i think
is best for me. Its been 6 months since i found out he cheated for a year, all my pregnancy until my baby was 6 months old. I thought i could try make it work for my child but i actually hate him more now than i did the day u found out. Yet i feel guilty for wanting to take away my childs family from her. If i didnt have a child, i would have left the day i found out.

thank you 🤗. What did you do in the end if you dont mind me asking? If you left, how dod you cope and is life better now?

Do what is best for you and your child. Leave when you are ready.

Never make any decisions based on a belief hope that he will change. He won’t.

Mum guilt is the worst but I wouldn't waste it on a cheating bloke. You are not responsible for his relationship with your child - only he is.

@ByGraceThroughFaith

Yet i feel guilty for wanting to take away my childs family from her.

You are not doing that. He did that the moment he cheated.

But in reality, the child will not 'lose' her family. It will just be 'family in a different form'. She will still have you and she will still have her father. Just not in the same house. She'll be fine. If you split when she is very young she will never have known anything different than having two homes.

Remember also, divorce is commonplace these days. It's not like back in my day when it was 'a shame and a scandal' and children of divorce were to be 'pitied'. Chances are as she grows there will be as many children from one parent homes as two parent homes. She will have many little friends with divorced parents and she will see them thrive. She will be fine.

As you make your plans may I suggest that you see a solicitor? You need to get educated as to what divorce may mean to you. Take a 'snapshot' of family finances (income, expenses, assets/finances, and especially the mortgage papers if you own a home). Let the solicitor explain things to you. There's nothing wrong with staying for financial security if that's what you choose, but it may very well be that you don't actually have to.

And if you haven't, find one friend or relative in whom you have absolute trust and who will not judge any decision you make and tell them. Having IRL support is immeasurable.

Nope.

That is betrayal of the absolute worst kind and is unforgivable.