I was betrayed by the man I loved, and now I'm trapped in their sick, manipulative games. Need advice.

[HealingHeart8]

I’m writing this because I feel completely devastated, used, and honestly, quite broken. I fell deeply in love with a man. He is 45, I am 32, and the other girl involved is 25.
During our relationship, he betrayed me and started seeing this younger girl behind my back. When I found out about the cheating, I immediately broke up with him. However, he didn't let me go easily. He did everything he could to win me back, begging for my forgiveness and swearing that he had left her. Foolishly, my feelings got the better of me, and I forgave him.
But the nightmare didn't end there. I soon realized that he had continued to string both of us along at the exact same time. On top of that, I discovered that the other girl actually had another boyfriend as well! She was cheating on her own boyfriend with him, meaning she was juggling two men, and he was juggling two women.
When I caught his messages and realized the depth of the lies, I ended things for good. I also felt a moral obligation to let the other girl know that he was seeing both of us simultaneously. Instead of being grateful, she turned on me. She blamed me, accused me of chasing after him, and insulted me heavily.
To make matters worse, this man owes me a significant amount of money. When I tried to contact him solely to ask for my money back, the girl forced him to block me. Yet, shortly after, he started messaging me again behind her back, saying things like, "We broke up, maybe you and I will end up getting married one day."
Then, they started playing a sick game together. They pretended to break up and unfollowed each other on social media just to make me believe his lies. To confront them and expose their hypocrisy, I went to a seminar where I knew they would be. I confronted the girl directly and said: "He is pretending to be single just to get close to me and avoid paying back his debt. Why are you playing along with this fake breakup show?"
She lost her mind, insulted me again, and physically lunged at me. I walked away from the situation.
I just feel so incredibly awful right now. I truly, deeply loved this man once. It hurts so much to see how cheap, manipulative, and cruel people can be. I am struggling to process all of this. How do I heal from this level of betrayal and craziness?

Well first congratulate yourself for (a) walking away irrevocably and (b) standing up for yourself. Well done.

The answer is easy. Never have contact with him directly ever again or the girl. Just move on wiser (and with stories to tell in 10 years when it will all seem a distant memory).

In terms of the money, if it was genuinely agreed between you as loan, write him a short letter setting out the dates and amounts and any agreement between you as to how and when he was to repay it. Keep it very short and factual. Give a date by which it must be repaid.

Then, if not repaid by that date send a reminder saying that if it's not paid in 14 days you will take him to court.

The small claims court is a very straightforward online process. I'd imagine he will pay then.

He won't like you but he will respect you more.

First post 👍

Well done for breaking up

Now walk away properly. You know that telling yourself you feel an obligation to tell this woman what's going on is just an excuse not to let him go - you've said yourself she is also cheating, so they are as bad as each other. NB - she hasn't forced him to block you or anything else, his behaviour is his doing.

Block him and keep yourself busy.

You very possibly won't get the money back, so prepare yourself for that - but speak to citizens advise who can help you write a formal letter to him, and if he doesn't cough up then advise on taking him to the small claims court.

Focus on getting him out of your life. He is utter rubbish.