Has anyone ever ended a relationship because they were falling too quickly

[WendyWednesday21]

I've been seeing someone for about 5 months now. He is really nice, we go out on dates, stay at each others house, talk and text every day. We both both have children and have been married before.

I really like him but feel like I am falling fast and hard and I need to pull away or even finish things. I feel like I love being in his company, spending time and doing things together but when I am not with him I feel sad and low.

No. And I would assume someone was bullshitting me if they said that? What’s wrong with falling for him? Though I have say I wouldn’t call 5 months fast!

just take it slow in introducing your children to the mix. It’s ok if you fall as long as they don’t get hurt

oh ok..I don’t know it’s my first relationship since divorce. Not introduced dc and not even thought about that yet. I think I’m thinking incase I end up getting hurt, even though he has reassured me he feels the same

Have you been divorced long?

No, I haven’t. Tbh I’ve married twice very quickly 😬 which I don’t recommend. This time round I did start missing dp a lot quite soon though not at 5 months. We will have been together 6 years when we get married. I ascribe the change to a few years of therapy. It kept me going after DH died but it still helps me work on communication and general better functioning. Could it be an option for you?

Yes, I get like this. I hate feeling consumed by my feelings for someone, I like being at peace. And there’s not much peace in falling hard and fast for someone. I much prefer the stage when a relationship gets a bit boring 😂.
I ended it with my last partner, the emotional uncertainty was too much and i didn’t feel he was a good match anyway. It’s not really that healthy but I was relieved.

I think some (many?) people do feel this way - that it's great but it's all going too quickly - but that is the start of a new relationship you think about the other person all the time and spend as much time together as possible.

You have to burn through the atmosphere to land on the planet. So enjoy this intense time but be looking to see what foundation it will leave.

If there are things you don't want to do, just don't do them. Say, 'I can't do that now' or 'I can't do that yet' or 'I'm not ready to do that'. A good'un will be able to cope but will maintain enthusiasm. Anyone who overly pressures you is showing true colours.

MN wisdom is not to introduce children and again, you can do what works for you here. My divorced parents introduced frequently at early stages when it didn't matter so these 'friends' just came and went.

There is the term 'love bombing' but I think that is just what a new relationship feels like - you think about the other person all the time and spend as much time together as possible.

As a PP said - 5 months is not particularly fast. In fact, it suggests to me that you have spent a reasonable period of time getting to know this man and that everything you have got to know has caused you to like him more and more. That seems like a good thing to me. You can run away from that if you want but, frankly, I think you would be bonkers to do so (unless there are red flags you're not sharing with us) and cutting off your nose to spite your face. As a PP said to me, if someone ended a relationship with me on the basis they liked me too much, I would think they were talking BS.

As to feeling sad and low when you're not with him, that's also not a reason to end it; it is a reason to find interesting and productive ways of filling that time.

Enjoy it, OP. Sounds very promising!

I fell in love with my partner at the first hello. We looked at each other, both waved the same way (think Hugh Grant in Love Actually), smiled ..... and I was smitten and vice versa.

2.5yrs later I'm still totally enthralled by him.

Just go with it. Love is bloody wonderful ❤️

Think I've done this.
Have also been at the point of finishing it just to get equilibrium back, but didn't.
It is great and horrible at the same time.
Counsellor pointed out that if I finished it for that reason I'd feel relief, briefly then I'd get the sadness that it was over.