Would you ask about late-night Spotify messages with a female colleague?

[Anon2508]

We are on holiday and DH passed me his phone to put some music on Spotify when mine was charging in another room. I clicked on the app and was looking for playlists when I noticed a message on Spotify from a woman I know he works with. I clicked on it and there were lots of songs they had sent to each other over the last few months. There was no chat or anything along with the songs, but they were often sent late at night. I just can’t shake the feeling there is more to this. Not sure whether to ask him outright, or try and check his messages (I know that’s not right).

I never knew this was a thing!
id be concerned about this. What type of songs are they?

I’d check his messages. Many will think that’s appalling, but I don’t care. If there’s something going on he won’t tell you the truth if you ask him anyway.

I had no idea either! A total mix, some seemed to be sort of film soundtracks, some old, some newer stuff. Not love songs or anything, but I just wonder what the context was..

Oh god. This is so close to what my friend is doing I’m wondering if it’s her.

They are just sharing music, I don’t see the issue

I'd want to know more.

My partner and his friend's wife exchange book recommendations in a similar way. I know that's completely innocent.

But my friend's journey as an affair partner started with him sending her late night songs 🙄

I've also had more than one married man attempt to 'seduce' me in this way 🙄

It's low effort intimacy.

So they are thinking of each other late at night.
That would indicate that at the very least they are very close.
He is thinking of his colleague during family time when you have every right to think that his focus is on you, his wife, and his family.
I wouldn't be happy about this at all OP.
Does he talk about this woman to you OP?

I'd look at the song titles. Then maybe look at the lyrics. That might tell you everything you need to know. Maybe there's messages that are elsewhere that have been deleted?
Try to suss it out. Might be nothing.
If you're not sure after looking at the above then just ask him outright. His reaction will tell you everything.

Was it thrash metal or love songs?

This feels a very intimate thing OP, more than books, movies etc.
It may not mean anything much is happening but there’s a closeness there that would concern me.

We’ve been having a good time on this holiday and I did look at Spotify again.. but nothing further. I did however have a look at their WhatsApp chat. There was chat about music (the same time they were sending songs) and it did seem innocent enough, however when I scrolled up there weren’t many messages. For people who seemed so friendly and the fact they’ve known each other so long I do find that odd and wonder if he has deleted messages. Or maybe this is genuinely all the chat they’ve had. I’m not sure what to do, I think just monitor things but it has made me question my trust of him. Which is perhaps a bigger issue.

This seems intimate to me too. Perhaps a mutual crush. I would have had a conversation with him rather than checking WhatsApp though.