Who are the main objects of your fantasies?

[Doubtfully]

This is not a sex question! It’s very much a relationships one.

Assuming you have sexual fantasies, who are the main protagonists and are you in a long term relationship or not?

And are you a woman?

Having a sort of discussion with my DH recently and he said in a roundabout way that it’s me he thinks of. I steered the conversation away as that’s not the case for me and I’m feeling a bit guilty.

In the early days of when we were apart, then yes very much him. Been married for over 20 years and now it’s anyone from completely imaginary men, fictional characters, occasionally celebrities, occasional reliving of past events. And they’re more often than not fantasies that I want to remain as exactly that. I’m quite happy with my sex life with DH!

Do men & women differ?
Should I stop feeling a bit guilty?

Anyone and Everyone. Famous people, randoms, friends, imaginary people.

I do have the Marshall Erickson (from "How I met your Mother") problem though. The joke in that is that he has to construct some elaborate fantasy scenario where his wife is dead and has given him her blessing to sleep with someone else before he can then actually fantasise about them.

While I don't go to quite those lengths, most of my fantasies do at least involve DP in some way. Usually a threesome with us as a couple and a random third person or another couple, or at the very least we're in an open relationship so she's off having her own fun while I'm having mine.

My fantasies also don't tend to involve all that much actual sex either. I'm aphantasic, so can't picture anything in my head. I can however hear conversations. So my daydreaming tends to be more of a radio play rather than a film. Interesting enough during the lead up when there's some conversation going on, but there's a reason you don't get many sex scenes in the Archers

You probably did the right thing keeping quiet. A while ago DH and I were out with friends and this subject came up. We haven't been married as long as you but I admitted I tend to fantasie about a male friend I work with. DH was not happy and has brought it up with me since. I wish I'd never said anything in the first place.
Honesty is not always the best policy.

I am female and have been married a good deal longer than you OP, and various men have starred in my fantasies. Mind you my fantasies got a lot wilder when I discovered M/M slash fiction!
So since then it's mostly fictional characters from TV shows... Krycek (X-Files) for many years, then Supernatural's Dean Winchester.
I am sure DH fantasizes too. Most years he has a naked lady calendar on his study wall 😄.

Your husband is lying! And you’re very normal OP.

@Trumptontown oh I don’t think I got the full version, I moved the conversation away!

Good to know I’m normal though. Without being specific, much of my fantasy life is stuff I’d never want to actually do, let alone with my DH.

@didntlikeanyofthesuggestions eek that’s a bit close to the bone i suppose. It’s that whole free pass thing - your sister, your best friend …

@VimesandhisCardboardBoots that’s really interesting in so many ways. I don’t always have images either, but physical sensations of that person, touch, taste - does that apply to you or is it just a narrative. The brain is fascinating.

Huh, I've never really thought about the touch, taste, smell side of things.

So, as I said, if I try and picture something, I get absolutely nothing. On the other hand I can hear a song in my head absolutely perfectly, and the same with peoples voices, so I get what it must be like to be able to picture things well. With taste, touch, smell, it's far closer to the former. Not a complete absence like when I try to picture something, but definitely not getting anywhere near a sull sense of it.

I think I've just realised why I'm a great cook if I can follow a recipe exactly, but I'm crap at trying to throw some ingredients together and make them taste good. I don't have that mental version of the taste to go off of.

Hugh Laurie in House 🤤

Changes quite often for me.

This year's ones have included=

Hugh Grant but only playing certain film roles 😂
Andi Peters. Perfect in every way
David Beckham. If we agreed to not speak 😂